Father’s Day is almost upon us, so there is still time to take your Dodge Ram down to your local grocery store—and we are assuming, of course, that you are driving the new Dodge Ram, the Mayor of Truckville—and, with “Just Push Play” blaring from the audio system, rolling out to pick up a 5.7-ounce bottle of “Joe Perry’s Rock Your World Boneyard Brew Hot Sauce.” That’s right, presumably not making enough from records, tours, DaimlerChrysler, etc., Perry has branched out into condiments. According to the news release, “The Axeman [sic] has been involved with every step of the development, from the way the sauce tastes to the types of bottle and packaging concept.” We’ll pause so you can catch your breath after that revelation. It continues, “To Joe, cooking mirrors rock and roll.” While I’ve never associated spare ribs with rock and roll, I suppose some correlation can be made. “Says Perry, ‘If you’re gonna play, play it loud. If you’re gonna cook, cook with fire!!!!” And if you’re gonna use punctuation, use lots of it.