A Public Service Father’s Day Gift Tip from Glorious Noise
Father’s Day is almost upon us, so there is still time to take your Dodge Ram down to your local grocery store—and we are assuming, of course, that you are driving the new Dodge Ram, the Mayor of Truckville—and, with “Just Push Play” blaring from the audio system, rolling out to pick up a 5.7-ounce bottle of “Joe Perry’s Rock Your World Boneyard Brew Hot Sauce.” That’s right, presumably not making enough from records, tours, DaimlerChrysler, etc., Perry has branched out into condiments. According to the news release, “The Axeman [sic] has been involved with every step of the development, from the way the sauce tastes to the types of bottle and packaging concept.” We’ll pause so you can catch your breath after that revelation. It continues, “To Joe, cooking mirrors rock and roll.” While I’ve never associated spare ribs with rock and roll, I suppose some correlation can be made. “Says Perry, ‘If you’re gonna play, play it loud. If you’re gonna cook, cook with fire!!!!” And if you’re gonna use punctuation, use lots of it.
vitas
3631 days ago
http://www.joeperrysrockyourworld.com/brought to you by joe perry’s rock your world, inc. – now that’s scarry.can anyone dream up some other asinine product tie-ins to be used to exploit a rock star’s image?red hot chili pepper’s hot saucenick drake’s anti-depressantsmorrissey’s dipitty doo hair geljack white’s rockin’ flobeeelton john’s adult undergarments
Ryan King
3631 days ago
ryan adams XXX malt liquor
Johnny Loftus
3631 days ago
Go-Gos Go-Bots
Scotty5000
3631 days ago
How about “The Elliott Smith Needle and Spoon Kit?” Simple convenience for those in need a new set of works before one of those oh so embarassing live performances.
Scotty5000
3631 days ago
Smack sold seperately.
Jake
3631 days ago
Neil Young rolling papers (no joke): http://store.artistdirect.com/store/prod/detail/0,,1654939,00.html
k-rock
3631 days ago
“And if your gonna use punctuation, use lots of it.”Shouldn’t that read: “you’re going to” instead of “your gonna?” And what about starting sentences with “and?”
gsv
3631 days ago
K: good catch on the homonym (which I’ve subsequently corrected). And as for starting with the conjunction–I stand with Winston Churchill on that one–of course, he’s been dead for quite some time, so I suppose he doesn’t stand.Doesn’t Sammy Hagar have a tequila? (That is a rhetorical question because I’m hoping that none of you really knows the answer.)
Anonymous
3631 days ago
How about the Ryan Adams “John Rzenik Mask”
Joshua
3631 days ago
The NEW Weight Gain 3000 spokesman – Andrew W.K.!”Beefcake! Beefcaaaaaaake!”
stella
3630 days ago
Michael Jackson, skin reconstruction gel for men.Cher for women.Wier’s wok sauce. that’s real and it sucks but its got a cool bottle.
stella
3630 days ago
Weir’s Kurt Cobain, motivational speaking.John Popper Diet.
Mixmaster Shecky
3629 days ago
Ted Nugent’s Vegetarian BurgersMarilyn Manson for Hostess Fruit Pies
Scotty5000
3628 days ago
The Nuge has a new book out called “Kill It And Grill It”.Don’t forget about Newman’s Own. Paul Newman, however, doesn’t make a dime off of any of his products, and the company is still independantly run and owned. Profits go to charities.
sab
3628 days ago
Metallica File Sharing NetworkWhite Stripes Wedding PlanningJohn Denver AirlinesI would actually love to buy a Flava Flav kitchen wall clock though.
Jaime
3628 days ago
R. Kelly: A Guide for Childrearing.
Scotty5000
3628 days ago
Christopher Reeves’s video guide to horseback riding.Bob Dole, spokesman for Viagra! (Oh wait, he already does that)Lewinski’s Cigars, hand dipped for the President in all of us.
Jude
709 days ago
Iggy Pop Tarts. You know, for your health…