If you’re like me, when it comes to quality musical entertainment, the first thing you think about is Pam Anderson. That’s right, she of the pneumatic torso and plasticized pouty lips. The human (OK: maybe she’s a cyborg; you can’t be too sure nowadays about things like that) Barbie doll who has shown a proclivity to attach herself to monosyllabically monikered performers (e.g., Lee, Rock). The woman who has proven that method acting is profoundly overrated if you can wear very little while emoting. In fact, it could be argued that Pam has proven that talent is overrated as long as you are, well, talent.
Anyway, before we delve into lasciviousness here and begin to explicate the opening scenes of that cinematic masterpiece, Barb Wire, let’s get to the point of what Pam is shortly going to be doing vis-à-vis the musical entertainment industry. Not being satisfied, apparently, with her basic cable cartoon appearance (OK, maybe she really is a cartoon; you can’t be too sure nowadays about things like that) as Stripperella, Barb is taking to the airwaves, or at least the satellite waves, starting October 3 on SIRIUS, the satellite radio provider that is trying to prove, apparently, that its not so serious.
She’ll be the host of “Club Pam,” which probably has that name because odds are better that she’ll remember what it is called if it includes her given moniker. According to the “official” announcement, “During the show, Pamela [note the higher level of sophistication here, using the other two syllables] will speak intimately, and one-on-one to her fans, as if they have been invited into her home to lounge in her playroom.” Yes, on a network that prides itself as being “the only satellite radio service bringing listeners more than 100 streams of the best music and entertainment coast-to-coast,” intimacy is what it is all about.
Anderson is quoted as saying, “I have an opportunity to work at home, out of my bedroom. . .who could ask for a better job?” And the ellipsis isn’t added. Playroom. Bedroom. Deck of a boat. . . .
Hah, awesome. Her 15 minutes just keep on keepin’ on don’t they?
“Her 15 mins just keep on keepin’ on don’t they?”
Well, as long as she has the financial wherewithal to change her boob-size as she pleases, or has those wacky fights with her exes who give her diseases, she’ll be news, I’m sad to say. I give her credit for expanding her 15 minute clock eons beyond its original time limit; even Heather Graham hasn’t been able to accomplish that trick yet…
It warms the cockles of my heart that Sirius is dedicated to such quality radio as this. For what it’s worth, Pamela’s allure is purely visual; what the fuck were they thinking??? That she’d actually have something intelligent or even mildly tittillating to SAY??
If I had to pick one of the two pay services, it’d still be XM; they have Webb Wilder as a host, and I’d be all over that!!
“It was a fine idea at the time
Now it’s a brilliant mistake.”
–E. Costello
As a fan of JANE Magazine, I used to read Pam’s monthly column, which got progressively weirder and dumber until — for the final one — the editors just photocopied her faxes that she sent which contained a series of scribbled non-sequitors and jibberish. Seriously, it was like the sleep-deprived ramblings of a schizophrenic crackhead. Excellent journalism.
Sad, because JANE has gone from being sort of a female-oriented version of GRAND ROYAL to a pretty lame and fairly typical ladies mag. Somewhere along the way they lost their confrontational outsider attitude…
Oh my God, Jake, I was totally going to comment on the JANE Magazine thing!! Beat me to it!! Those faxes they published were just insane ramblings, I’m sure the JANE staffers were having to write her column every month and were just bloody sick of it.
Hey, what’s with all this Pam-bashing? True, she may not be this era’s Sarah Bernhardt, but who is?
Anyone who can make a living in show business based soley on her chest size, and for so long, deserves a little respect. Not a *lot* of respect, mind you, but at least some. Russ Meyer would have had a field day with her…