It’s Britney, Bitch

Bald Ass BritneyIt’s not cool to pile on, I know, but anyone who saw the MTV music awards is talking about the same thing: What the fuck happened to Britney Spears?

Like all MTV Music Awards openers, this was hyped to be “amazing” and “shocking” and a triumphant return for who was once the bread and butter for the dopiest channel on TV. The promise was that everyone would be talking about Britney’s performance, and they are, just not for a good reason.

Half stumbling and entirely leadfooted, Britney Spears couldn’t even bother to phone it in. Naughty Baby definitely did a No-No with an uninspired walkthrough that has pole dancers everywhere justifiably declaring: I can do that!

Sarah Silverman may have put it best when she said, “Isn’t [Spears] amazing? Just twenty five years old and she’s done everything she’s going to do with her life.” Let’s hope so.

Watch it on MTV.com (or after the jump).

Previously on GLONO:

2006 MTV Video Music Awards

Crunk in Public: The 2004 MTV Video Music Awards

The White Mouse Has Escaped! The 2003 VMAs

Drunker Than Pink: The 2002 VMAs

Naughty Baby Did a No-No: The 2001 VMAs

More Britney coverage than we’re proud to admit.


Britney Spears – VMAs 2007 – “Gimme More”

MP3: Britney Spears – “Gimme More” (studio)

21 thoughts on “It’s Britney, Bitch”

  1. I agree that she looked awful, but I can’t believe how many writers are commenting on her weight. Even the Associated Press said, “perhaps most unforgivable given her once taut frame, she looked embarrassingly out of shape.”

    Come on. There are so many valid criticisms you can make without resorting to Cheetohs references. It’s no wonder so many women and girls have body image issues. Jeez.

  2. That thing was a trainwreck. I’m almost sorry for my initial praise of the new song; there’s little chance of it taking off now.

    I read that thing about her body before watching the video. There is nothing wrong with the way she looked at all.

  3. i just saw the performance, and this reminds me of the saying that when you’re drunk you speak the truth. whatever medication she’s on seems to expose the truth as well; she looks bored out of her mind. it’s more the other artists that are fake and in denial. the joke’s not on britney, it’s on the vma’s.

  4. Jake I echo your comments one hundred percent.

    All I keep reading about today are the comments regarding her body. Ridiculous. For someone who had two kids in a short amount of time, bodywise she looks amazing. So what if her stomach wasn’t perfect? She had two C-sections. It won’t be.

    It’s no wonder there was a report published a short time ago that the suicide rate of teenage girls is jumping the last few years. It’s at its highest right now. Three guesses why? These days it’s actually tough to be a female what with all the pressure these days to be super skinny. I could keep going on and on about the evils of the media and how Hollywood has seriously damaged normal expectations for body image amongst women and men also, but I won’t.

    Performance sucked period. She doesn’t want to do this anymore obviously. Plus she was stoned or something. God, that girl needs serious help.

    And someone on the radio this mmorning said her custody case was worsened by that performance-mainly because she looked drugged out.

  5. Yeah I read some of the media’s comments on her weight. Thats just ridiculous! I feel kinda bad for her now. Her performance was bad, but she still looked great in my opinion.

    I heard on the radio that right before she went on to open the show, she had just heard what Sara Silverman had planned to say about her and her kids in the opening monologue and she freaked out….so thats why her performance was bad.

  6. Reuters, too: “No longer boasting the buff body that helped drive her to international superstardom almost a decade ago, the mother of two moved sluggishly around the stage at the Palms casino, often with the support of a troupe of dancers.”

    Jesus, they make her sound like Elvis in 1977. Yes, her dancing was lame and looked way under-rehearsed. But it’s not like she was wheezing and shuffling like Big Momma’s House.

  7. She sucks now and she sucked before. What’s new? MTV has sucked for almost 20 years. The music industry that spawned Britney has sucked for decades.

    This is like stating the obvious.

  8. I like Kanye’s quote:

    “She hasn’t had a hit record in years,” the outspoken hip-hop star improvised during a performance the night before.

    Spears released her last studio album in 2003, the commercial disappointment “In the Zone” — and West has recorded three albums in that time.

    Ha!

  9. Detroit Metro Times’ Brian Smith on the VMAs: “…the best, most honest part of the night was Britney Spears’ half-baked lip-sync to “Gimme More.” Forget that the performance made her (again) the easiest, fish-in-a-barrel target for worldwide press goobs and celeb sycophants, Spears looked great. She did. She’s no longer hawking some over-aerobiczed fake image of a girl’s idea of what a man thinks a perfect woman should be. Nah, she appeared womanly, near-zaftig and fleshy, with a few gentle miles on her. Her moves were slower, more deliberate — a certain grace belied her trailer court stripper élan.”

  10. who cares …..this is what’s pop all about,it’s too much bullshit to handle,enough to even bore britney outta her mind.pop should be dead by now!!

  11. She should realize that she’s a mother and needs to quit parying too.

    Being a Parent is your responsibilty.

    She just didn’t look good.

    I sometimes wish she would never get married to KEVIN FEDERLINE.

    Heidi Burns

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