Why won’t the sycophantic slags finally release properly remastered versions of the original albums instead of just giving us more, lame compilations: The Smiths Anthologized On Double-Disc Set.

Sure, the Smiths were a classic “singles band.” But their albums hold up, and all we have on CD are the original, crummy-sounding 80s versions. We need the entire catalog to be mastered properly. We need to be able to re-evaluate the songs (with extra tracks and, hopefully, a tacky badge!).

Hang the DJ: The Very Best of the Smiths is due October 7 on Rhino in both single- and double-disc versions.

But they can never taint you in my eyes. No, they can never touch you now.

Disc one:

“Hand In Glove”

“Reel Around The Fountain”

“This Charming Man”

“What Difference Does It Make”

“Still Ill”

“Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now”

“William, It Was Really Nothing”

“How Soon Is Now?”

“Shakespeare’s Sister”

“Barbarism Begins At Home”

“That Joke Isn’t Funny Anymore”

“The Headmaster Ritual”

“The Boy With The Thorn In His Side”

“Bigmouth Strikes Again”

“There Is A Light That Never Goes Out”

“Panic”

“Ask”

“You Just Haven’t Earned It Yet Baby”

“Shoplifters Of The World Unite”

“Sheila Take A Bow”

“Girlfriend In A Coma”

“I Started Something I Couldn’t Finish”

“Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Loved Me”

Disc two:

“Handsome Devil” (Live)

“Jeane”

“This Charming Man” (New York vocal)

“Back To The Old House”

“These Things Take Time”

“Girl Afraid”

“Please, Please Please Let Me Get What I Want”

“Oscillate Wildly”

“Stretch Out And Wait”

“Meat Is Murder” (Live in Oxford)

“Asleep”

“Money Changes Everything”

“The Queen Is Dead”

“Vicar In A Tutu”

“Cemetry Gates”

“Half A Person”

“Sweet And Tender Hooligan”

“I Keep Mine Hidden”

“Pretty Girls Make Graves” (Troy Tate version)

“Stop Me If You Think You’ve Heard This One Before”

“What’s The World” (Live in Glasgow)