Dave Chappelle Inks $50 Million Deal

This is the place where you can vent whatever's on your mind. Feel free to go off on extended rants or brief blurbs about whatever's rocking your world.

Moderators: D. Phillips, Jake

Greenwood The Sock Monkey
GLONO Board Mack Daddy
Posts: 303
Joined: Thu Dec 04, 2003 8:17 pm
Location: Oil Country

Post by Greenwood The Sock Monkey » Wed May 11, 2005 2:45 pm

Jake wrote: Dave Chappelle Inks $50 Million Deal
Buy all the stock you can get in KFC and FUBU. Like, right now.

hebrew hammer
Captain Obvious
Posts: 812
Joined: Fri Apr 08, 2005 7:39 pm
Location: East side
Contact:

Post by hebrew hammer » Wed May 11, 2005 6:46 pm

You know what's funny? When people take catch phrases from funny movies, television shows, and comedians, then they repeat them in their best impression, regardless of their awkward accent, gender or lack of comedic timing. I can't get enough of it. My favorite example of this comes from a skit on "Chappelle's Show," in which Dave Chappelle does a parody bio of 80's pop singer Rick James.

The popular phrase from this skit is when Chappelle says "I'm Rick James, bitch!" Now everyone from fat Everquest nerds (yes I know I'm being redundant by calling an Everquest nerd "fat," don't email me) to pimply faced high school kids around the world repeat this phrase every chance they get, giggling spastically every time one of them says it in their crackling pre-pubescent voice.

I don't know how, but every time someone does their impression of Dave Chappelle saying "I'm Rick James, bitch," it keeps getting funnier and funnier. Man, I never get tired of hearing people repeat their favorite lines from Chappelle's show. Of course, this begs the question: are these people paying homage to Chappelle, or are they cheapening the phrase, making it tired and unfunny? I did some research to find out what qualification these fans had, and posted my findings in the following graph: [go to the bottome the page]

The results were surprising: the graph above suggests that 6,367,619,884 out of every 6,367,619,885 people in the world are not Dave Chappelle, and therefore should shut the hell up. This finding was in contrast to what I thought initially; that these fans were in fact qualified to use Dave's catch phrase, otherwise why would they parrot on endlessly like idiots desperate to make their peers laugh at the expense of permanently ruining an otherwise funny joke?

Look assholes, it's funny when Dave Chappelle says it, not you. I'm tired of people adopting speech patterns, catch phrases, and their entire personalities from movies. When Jim Carrey's "Ace Ventura" came out, every prick I know did their worst "allllrighty then" impression. You can still hear it echoed by smug school girls who try to compensate for their lack of personality and any semblance of wit by chanting this mantra so maybe you won't notice that they're lying whores. The worst is when some gabby bitch is the center of a party, and someone tells an awkward story, to which she'll pause a beat, roll her eyes, then say "oooooookayyyyy!" Then she thinks it's funny and she high fives all her snobby bitch friends who watch stupid shit like "Will & Grace" and "Average American Family deals with gay daughter," all while listening to whiny angst-filled "emo" bullshit and taking everything Carson Daly says as gospel. I hope you choke.
Here's the graph.

Get more funny shit like this here.

Jake
GLONO Team Member
Posts: 7276
Joined: Sun Sep 09, 2001 8:00 pm
Location: Michigan

Post by Jake » Wed May 11, 2005 10:03 pm

'Show' Won't Go On - EW Exclusive: Chappelle in psych hospital -- With its star hospitalized in South Africa, ''Chappelle's Show'' is unlikely to return to Comedy Central for a third season.
Comedian Dave Chappelle has checked himself into a mental health facility in South Africa and has remained there since late April, according to a source close to the situation. The same source denies rumors of drug abuse. Other sources have also told EW that the future of Chappelle's Show — the hit Comedy Central series that was entering its third season — is more uncertain than the network has suggested.

Tom4
GLONO Board Maniac
Posts: 1289
Joined: Thu Oct 24, 2002 11:47 pm
Location: New Jerz
Contact:

Post by Tom4 » Wed May 11, 2005 10:10 pm

Jake wrote:'Show' Won't Go On - EW Exclusive: Chappelle in psych hospital -- With its star hospitalized in South Africa, ''Chappelle's Show'' is unlikely to return to Comedy Central for a third season.
Comedian Dave Chappelle has checked himself into a mental health facility in South Africa and has remained there since late April, according to a source close to the situation. The same source denies rumors of drug abuse. Other sources have also told EW that the future of Chappelle's Show — the hit Comedy Central series that was entering its third season — is more uncertain than the network has suggested.


That's awful. Truly awful.

hebrew hammer
Captain Obvious
Posts: 812
Joined: Fri Apr 08, 2005 7:39 pm
Location: East side
Contact:

Post by hebrew hammer » Thu May 12, 2005 3:53 pm

I saw that on my homepage today. It's upsetting. Dave is brilliant, but he's obviously a troubled genius. He's one of the funniest men alive, so I hope he can get back on his feet.

Johnny Loftus
GLONO Team Member
Posts: 318
Joined: Tue May 21, 2002 8:00 pm
Location: Detroit City

Post by Johnny Loftus » Thu May 12, 2005 5:05 pm

"NEW YORK--In a move designed to appease its target demographic, Comedy Central has elected to replace its sketch comedy hit "Chappelle's Show" with the lifestyle and fancy sunglasses variety show "LaChappelle's Show". The half-hour program will star celebrity photographer, video director, and cad-about-town David LaChapelle, and feature an ass load of smugness, glistening white fabric, and novelty cocaine."

nobodygirl
GLONO Board Kingpin
Posts: 964
Joined: Wed Jul 30, 2003 2:06 pm
Location: also? i can kill you with my brain.
Contact:

Post by nobodygirl » Thu May 12, 2005 5:13 pm

Jake wrote:'Show' Won't Go On - EW Exclusive: Chappelle in psych hospital -- With its star hospitalized in South Africa, ''Chappelle's Show'' is unlikely to return to Comedy Central for a third season.
Comedian Dave Chappelle has checked himself into a mental health facility in South Africa and has remained there since late April, according to a source close to the situation. The same source denies rumors of drug abuse. Other sources have also told EW that the future of Chappelle's Show — the hit Comedy Central series that was entering its third season — is more uncertain than the network has suggested.
Does anyone have any idea why he chose to go to South Africa to do this? I'm really curious.

steve-o
Zombie Jesus
Posts: 2628
Joined: Wed Sep 25, 2002 8:11 am
Location: Seattle, WA

Post by steve-o » Thu May 12, 2005 5:16 pm

nobodygirl wrote:
Does anyone have any idea why he chose to go to South Africa to do this? I'm really curious.
Because he can afford to?

trainwreck2
GLONO Board Maniac
Posts: 1132
Joined: Mon Oct 04, 2004 12:55 pm
Location: not sweden like some losers here!

Post by trainwreck2 » Thu May 12, 2005 5:36 pm

Dave Chappelle took my sister to a strip club in Houston a few years ago...ok so it wasn't just her, he invited everyone who went to see him on his first gig in Houston to a strip club afterwards

hebrew hammer
Captain Obvious
Posts: 812
Joined: Fri Apr 08, 2005 7:39 pm
Location: East side
Contact:

Post by hebrew hammer » Thu May 12, 2005 5:36 pm

nobodygirl wrote:
Does anyone have any idea why he chose to go to South Africa to do this? I'm really curious.
Probably because he hates white people and especially American white people.

Post Reply