dear chicago:

This is the place where you can vent whatever's on your mind. Feel free to go off on extended rants or brief blurbs about whatever's rocking your world.

Moderators: D. Phillips, Jake

grounded5am
Edie Brickell fan
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Post by grounded5am »

i don't know if this will help but here goes: i went through a breakup myself. real bad. but in the process me and him got closer and became best of friends. something else happened. we never broke it off really. what i am saying is that there is a silver lining at the end. i felt so miserable at first but got stronger and changed for the better.

this will come to pass and you will be better for it. it will take time but it will happen. i am really sorry for all that has happened but you will see that it is all for the best. i say talk to him and clear the air. let everything out so that you can let everything go. i hope you can look upon this time of change in your life as a wonderful thing. hang in there ok.
Coopstar
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Post by Coopstar »

Yeah - I agree. I liken getting over a LTR breakup to stages (kind of like AA I guess... nevermind). My long time gf broke up with me earler this (last) year after 3 years or so. Still hurts a little but I am at stage 12. I must say (even if it is cliche) that the best part about this is that as much as that old shite hurts when you think about it (and you will) - everything else will seem new again. For the time being - cutting loose with close friends (that listen to quality music OF COURSE) should be in the cards. Move to Chi-town. New is awesome - nothing like it. Then after it all happens again (bigger and better) - come back here and tell us about it so we can say told-ya-so's and such. Enough of this even year crap. 2005 will be the shit.
dieblucasdie
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Post by dieblucasdie »

Poor nbg. When you get to Chicago, I'll buy you a bottle of the finest, cheapest whiskey I can get my hands on. Best of luck getting through this.
Jake
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Location: Michigan

Post by Jake »

nobodygirl wrote:Some reasons, actual verbatim: "I love you, but I need to see what else is out there."
"I'm not unique; you can find someone better for you."
"I thought you were broken and that I could fix you. You're not."
That guy's a dick. Fuck that. That's the worst break-up dialog I've ever heard.

Recommendation: cut off all contact with him as soon as logistically possible. Wounds cannot heal if you keep picking the scab.

Recommendation #2: now might not necessarily be the best time to move. Unless you have an existing non-Boy-related support system in place in Chicago, you might end up falling back on him. And that would not be good.
Johnny Loftus
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Post by Johnny Loftus »

nobodygirl wrote:
The oft-referred to Boy broke up with me on New Year's Day.
Some reasons, actual verbatim: "I love you, but I need to see what else is out there."
"I'm not unique; you can find someone better for you."
"I thought you were broken and that I could fix you. You're not."
.....
I can't sleep and can barely eat and am hating myself for becoming such a cliche...
Please help.
xoxo
--nbg.
You've become a cliche? What about your ex's quoted reasons for the breakup? 'I thought you were broken and that I could fix you'? Who the F talks like that? It sounds like the crux of a romantic comedy screenplay written by Dr. Phil.

Drink your coffee and smoke your cigarettes, and whiskey isn't a bad idea, either; for some reason, I've always liked listening to Kate Bush's Hounds of Love when the hearstrings get twisted.

JTL
Jake
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Post by Jake »

DJMurphy
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Post by DJMurphy »

NBG, you are one of the cool ones here, and it's a cryin' shame to see you so unceremoniously treated like this, esp. so close to the holidays. What kind of cad dumps someone he cares about on Jan. 2nd??? The phrase "better off without him" and "long run this is a good thing" are coming to mind, but I know that they probably won't help you now. I'll suggest a phrase that works all the time: this too shall pass.

Even Mrs. Murph thinks your situation sucks, and she's pulling for you too. Let me know if/when you get to Chgo; we oughta get a GloNo coffee date going on. Maybe an acoustic Riviera date, perchance? That way, my little dude can come, too.
miss carol
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Post by miss carol »

jake, johnnyl and dj absolutely hit it on the head.

change is good, but after you've found your sea legs. make sure you want to move to chicago specifically for you. PM me if you like; i've had analyse the same choices you are facing.

you are NOT a cliche. a HUMAN, absolutely.

consider the crying towel ready & at your disposal, my dear.
steve-o
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Post by steve-o »

nobodygirl wrote:so: remember this thread, y'all?
A slight wrench has been thrown into the plans and I turn to you, my internerd brethren, among others, for help, because that is all I can do at this point. I would be lying if I said I was not typing this kinda drunk. I am covering my typos so as not to appear that way.
The oft-referred to Boy broke up with me on New Year's Day.
Some reasons, actual verbatim: "I love you, but I need to see what else is out there."
"I'm not unique; you can find someone better for you."
"I thought you were broken and that I could fix you. You're not."
If I wasn't broken, I feel as though I am now. I have slunk off to nurse my wounds and am not communicating with him even though I need to before he leaves at some point because there are so many loose ends to tie up. I am terrified of that, I am uncertain about my future and whether I'm going to be able to trust or love anyone ever again.
But I still need to move there. Even if he's there. I need a fresh start. Y'all can treat this drunken plea in any manner you want to: I've already dyed my hair and screamed along to "Radio" by Alkaline Trio, I've gone for an entire day subsisting on coffee and cigarettes, I can't sleep and can barely eat and am hating myself for becoming such a cliche, I am using everything I fucking can to cope. This is now a Breakup/Move To Chicago Anyway Because You Are Better Than That Thread.
Please help.
xoxo
--nbg.
Geez, sorry to hear that, especially over a weekend when you're supposed to be getting celebratory-drunk, not medicated-drunk. But it sounds like you're handling it pretty damn good actually. A fresh start is exactly the way to go. Long-distance relationships never work. Never ever ever. You just saved yourself months of this crap prolonging the inevitable. So yeah, spend a week getting drunk, listening to self-indulgent wallowing music, watch a couple of Daily Show reruns for a needed laugh, and you'll feel a lot better. Seriously, I can't speak for everyone else, but I've definitely been there, and it does get better.
D. Phillips
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Post by D. Phillips »

NBG,
Get yourself a pen and paper and a copy of Cat Power's Moon Pix. When you've cried it all out, come down to Chicago and we will get you fully acquainted with our fine city.
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