Worst band ever!

[Barabajagal]

The sound of Anthony Kiedis trying to slide his way into the right note makes me want to jam knitting needles into my eyes. That voice dominates songs in a way that homogenizes them, regardless of how different the lyrics and music are. In another group Frusciante could have been Johnny Marr; in RHCP, he's just an invisible part of a good rhythm section.

Yep.

I like most of the famous, Frusciante-era RHCP songs but Kiedis is totally the weak link. But when we play the game "Musical Tree" (Whose branch would you cut down, even if it's an artist you like, in order to avoid what followed?) mine would have to be RHCP. All that shitty, funk/punk, dreadlocked, rap-rock shit. I suppose funk punk rap rock was inevitable, but still.

[Bob]

There really is a vast difference between the early Eagles and the later Eagles. The original band was really an extension of the Byrds/Burrito Bros, just slightly watered down. Some of those songs are really pretty good. How can you hate-hate guys who loved Gram Parsons and Gene Clark as much as those original Eagles did? It was the coke-fueled, Joe Walsh clown period and shameless money-whoring reunion (even though we hate each others guts and never see each other until we're on stage ) version that blows so bad.

[steve-o]

there are at least a dozen songs that sound fantastic in the right setting.

No. See, that's kind of what makes them so terrible. I am unable to come up with one situation that would qualify as the "right setting." And "Take It Easy" is so offensive to my ears that even assuming there is something even moderately listenable that came before, its negated by the utter shittery that they unleashed on the world with that song. And then just by the title of their most recent single ("Too Busy Being Fabulous"? Fuck you guys!) they twisted that knife even deeper. Fuck the Eagles.

And moving on to the "you're not intimately familiar with x band's history and discography so you're not qualified to make an opinion" argument. Bullshit. I'll freely admit that I haven't spent a great deal of time familiarizing myself with the Eagles's catalog. How many of you have listened to Nickleback's records all the way the way through ("what, you don't know how many there have been? Clearly you just haven't listened to them enough to make an opinion.") There's enough decent music out there to wade through that I don't have the time or interest to dig around in the shit to see if there is something redeeming.

[quasarwutwut]

How many of you have listened to Nickleback's records all the way the way through ("what, you don't know how many there have been? Clearly you just haven't listened to them enough to make an opinion.") There's enough decent music out there to wade through that I don't have the time or interest to dig around in the shit to see if there is something redeeming.

That's good argument. Although I do think that the Eagles had a little bit of credibility at the start, and that keeps them from being the The Worst Band Ever in my opinion. Don't get me wrong, I don't like the Eagles, but I don't think they came out of the gate as offensive as Creed and/or Nickelback. I think that's an important distinction, because god knows there are plenty of dinosaur acts that kicked ass at some point before becoming total shit that makes you want to pee in your own ear every time you hear it (I'm looking at You, Aerosmith).

The only thing about the Creed/Nickelback vote is whether they're big enough to warrant such praise from the judges. Eagles are obviously huge. Those bands are huge, but did they do as much damage? Are they more offensive than Limp Bizkit was? I know for a variety of historical reasons that KISS is supposed to be taken seriously, and they were admittedly before my time, but I've always hated them on general principle. They have always seemed like the Disney World of rock'n'roll to me, but I know too many people with good taste who like them, so...

My vote is still Creed. For their 100% generic arena rock, their 200% lack of any sort of humor whatsoever, but mainly because they've got one of these:

[Jake]

There is nothing I enjoy more than unbridled hate directed at a band.

But "Take It Easy" is kinda awesome.

Well, I'm a standing on a corner in Winslow, Arizona
and such a fine sight to see
It's a girl, my Lord, in a flatbed Ford
slowin' down to take a look at me

Now I can totally see how this exemplifies everything people hate about the Eagles. The arrogance, the vanity, etc. But come on...as fantasy, does it get any better than this? Don't all dudes dream about a girl picking them up like this? When I was a kid, every time I'd ride my bike home from my pal's house, I'd dream that the Flanagan girls would drive by, roll down their windows, and invite my down to their house on the river. Pretty much every day...for probably three years (12-14).

And the next bit is better:

Come on, baby, don't say maybe
I gotta know if your sweet love is gonna save me
We may lose and we may win
but we will never be here again
so open up, I'm climbin' in, so take it easy

Is this really happening? Or is it just in the narrator's imagination? Doesn't really matter either way, because it's the perfect description of post-Pill, pre-AIDS casual sex that my entire generation (those who came of age between Eddie Muphy's "Comedian" album and Magic Johnson proving you could live with HIV) missed out on.

Plus, musically, it's undeniable. The CSN harmonies, those guitar tones, the banjo in the second half? So good. Sure, it's a little antiseptic for country rock, but come on. It just sounds like a hazy 70s afternoon where all the grownups are wearing cutoffs and smoking doobies. Plus look how stoned Frey looks in this video (I'm not going to torture you by embedding it!).

Lighten up while you stil can...

[miss carol]

A few quick comments. I think the Eagles are boring and vanilla, but that can be suitable at times. I'd sooner be at a party and hear them than Nickleback. If Kroeger and company were howling, I'd know it was time to leave. Nickleback are terrible and derivative for reasons I've stated before. They have no redeeming quality, nothing that makes them bearable, memborable, or even hummable. As for Aerosmith, they're done. Dude looks like a rocker, but he's had more Botox than a lady. And he's gonna be judge on one those dumbass "talent show." That says it all. Hang 'em up, turn off the mic, and retire on your Run DMC royalties, Steveo. Enjoy your grandchildren and stop embarrassing yourself.

[R. Burton]

I do feel a little bad about how “matter of fact” I was in my post. Frankly, except for “The Long Run” LP, and for some of the radio hits, I’m not really that big of a fan. But I don’t think they suck. I pretty much just “like” The Eagles. You can hate them all you want.

Last night, I mentioned my pro-Eagles stand to a friend of mine and nearly got my ass kicked. His hatred was so extreme that I started to agree with him. I tried the “how ‘bout (name a song)” defense, thinking that if he admitted to liking a few songs, he’d have to admit that they don’t suck. Instead, he got me to admit that even bands that suck can come up with a toe-tapper every once in a while.

He’s also the biggest Wilco hater I know. He claims that their honky/fratboy appeal and lack of soul (his words, not mine) puts them in the same camp as Hootie and the Blowfish. I always stand up for “Being There” and “Summer Teeth,” but I didn’t like YHF nearly as much. (I know I’m in the minority here with that one.)

This has started me thinking about all the “they suck” comments I’ve made over the years, and how many times I had to take it back. Captain Beefheart comes to mind. As does Bob Seger. Although now I’m starting to rethink that one again. I mean, just because “2 plus 2” rocks balls, and Mainstreet makes me feel all melancholy, is that really enough for me to forgive “Like A Rock?”

I’m going to go listen to Sloan now and try to wash this “classic rock” taste out of my mouth.

[Jake]

Anybody wanna hear me defend Billy Joel or the Steve Miller Band?

[quasarwutwut]

Anybody wanna hear me defend Billy Joel or the Steve Miller Band?

[checking to make sure both barrels of gun are loaded] Why yes, I thought you'd never ask.

[jonas]

Anybody wanna hear me defend Billy Joel or the Steve Miller Band?

I would like to hear you defend the Steve Miller Band, yes.