The 48th Annual Grandma Awards

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worpswede
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The 48th Annual Grandma Awards

Postby worpswede » Thu Feb 09, 2006 2:52 am

Is it me? Am I getting old? Did I actually enjoy the 48th annual Grammy awards? I did indeed. I liked the new setup. I even enjoyed some of the performances. Don't ask me who won what. I only know The White Stripes won for "Get Behind Me Satan," U2 won a few awards for their "October" release, producer Alan Douglas got fat and that Sly Stone is one crazy nutter buddy. There was fluff, trainwrecks, rim jobbing, showoffing, and the occasional great moments.
Highlights:
5.) Madonna-Fuck the haters, Mommy Madge made a good pop record.
4.) Paul McCartney-...And Grandpa Paul made a nice Adult Contemporary album.
3.) Sly Stone-Are you kidding me?! There's a riot going on and someone let an old black man with a blonde mohawk on stage next to Fantasia. Call security. Oh wait. Nevermind. He's leaving the stage now. 75 seconds of surreal drama that would have only been topped if he starting urinating on the members of Maroon 5.
2.) Bruce Springsteen-This guy may just make it as a songwriter someday.
1.) U2/Mary J. Blige-Mary just takes off, nails it, and manages to do what no mortal man has ever done before: shut Bono up for a few seconds.
Lowlights
5.) Aretha Franklin-The 48th Annual Grammy Awards did not broadcast one second of Lady Soul's enormous breasts. For many years, the image of Aretha's cleavage was the best performance at the Grammy's.
4.) Coldplay-Would someone tell Chris Martin that there's something on his hand? We also need to thwart any attempt on Coldplay's part of trying to do a sequel to 'Rattle And Hum.'
3.) Jay Z/Linkin Park/Paul McCartney-Contrived. Scripted. A fart of an idea. It carried as much weight as Sting joining forced with Faith Evans and P-Diddy. The only thing cool about it was Jay Z's t-shirt of an N.Y.C. Lennon.
2.) Kayne West-We get it. You released one of the best albums of the year. But now you're starting to annoy me, just like Hammer did right around the time he released the single "Pray."
1.) The white guy with the funny haircut and the white cut off jean shirt that danced around and sang during the Family Stone medley. I have no idea who this performer was, but he looked retarded and his presence forced me to go outside and smoke a cigarette.
Who else saw it?

amighty
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Postby amighty » Thu Feb 09, 2006 7:30 am

skimmed it - liked the gorillaz/madonna thing. But why did she come out for the second part of the song in a different outfit than she was wearing a few seconds before (in the pre-recorded part)? It kinda messed up the illusion for me.

Also it's wierd to me that an American Idol won for anything. I realize, as my buddy said, "she's transcended Idol", but it's still wierd. I even really like that one song at least.

Paul McCartney saying he wantes "to rock, really rock", and then going into a (for a grandpa) rockin' Helter Skelter was awesome.

Coldplay blows.

JMHO

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Postby Jake » Thu Feb 09, 2006 8:36 am

I enjoyed it a lot this year (thanks in no small part to the "30-second skip" function of Tivo). I was surprised. I liked how it seemed way more about the performances than the award presentations.

Highlights for me:

Madonna + Gorillaz + De La Soul - I thought it was cool. Plus, I like how the character in the jock strap is blatantly based on Keith Richards. That's awesome.

Kelly Clarkston - She's fucking awesome. I love that girl. I'm a little disappointed she didn't thank me in any of her acceptance speaches considering the fact that I voted for her about 100 times over the course of Am Idol 1. She looks better with dark hair though.

Paul doing "Helter Skelter" - That actually rocked. Good for Paul.

Mariah Carey - Yeah, I got sick of it once she started singing about God and skipped past, but I'll be god damned if I don't like about 4 songs on that Mimi album. Last night, I realized I'd like her a lot better if she gained about 60 pounds and became a big old 'Retha character instead of trying to act sexy. Because her face looks like a pig.

Christina + Herbie Hancock - I skipped through after about 20 seconds, but I love Christina's voice. She can belt it the fuck out. But the song was boring.

Kanye - It was awesome just seeing him dressed as a drum major. Ha. I love funny hats. And "Gold Digger" is so obviously the song of the year. It's just fucking awesome. Plus, the step dancers! So cool. And the drumline shit was fat. I was kind of hoping they'd bring out preggy Gwen and medley into "Hollaback" but I guess Kanye's not really one to share the spotlight...

Bruce - "Bring 'em home." He's just fucking cool. I hope there are kids out there who saw that performance who had their eyes opened to a new kind of music...

Lowlights:

Coldplay - Jesus fucking Christ they're boring. Nice beards, too, you scruffy fucking losers. If you can't grow a real beard, just shave.

Sly tribute - Is it just me or does Joss Stone seem like she's making fun of black people when she sings? I can't imagine a losery group of people to do that tribute. Randy Jackson on bass? Huh? Maroon 5? The guy from Black Eyed Peas (although it was fun to watch him dance)? Aerosmith sucks. Was that Sebastian Bach painted on Joe Perry's guitar?

And Sly's appearance? Jesus. Crack is wack. Sly is one of the greatest artists of all time. He's written and recorded some of the best music ever. But his appearance, while surreal, was just disappointing. I guess there's a reason people disappear. And his appearance on the Grammys last night proved to me that Syd Barrett and Jeff Mangum should stay buried away wherever they are.

But overall, it was a good show. I'm glad I watched it.

Jake
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Postby Jake » Thu Feb 09, 2006 8:42 am

Oh and Sheryl Crow needs to stop lifting weights and eat a brownie. Her pecs were disgusting.

Josh B.
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Postby Josh B. » Thu Feb 09, 2006 9:27 am

well she'll hopefully be doing much less bike riding these days.

russ
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Postby russ » Thu Feb 09, 2006 11:40 am

Jake wrote:Kelly Clarkston - She's fucking awesome. I love that girl. I'm a little disappointed she didn't thank me in any of her acceptance speaches considering the fact that I voted for her about 100 times over the course of Am Idol 1. She looks better with dark hair though.

Paul doing "Helter Skelter" - That actually rocked. Good for Paul.



I videotaped the show and will watch the best bits today.
I understand Kelly Clarkson's decision not to thank AI in her speech, but at the same time, I think she should be ashamed of herself. AI put her on the map, she would absoloutely NOT be a pop singer right now had it not been for that show. I guess she IS a star now, because like most stars, she has turned her back on the people who got her to where she is now.
Shame on you Miss Clarkson!

See? I toldja Helter Skelter was the best song Macca was doing on tour. When I saw it from 20 feet away last Fall, that alone was worth $275.
:O)

tongue-tied lightning
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Postby tongue-tied lightning » Thu Feb 09, 2006 11:58 am

great reviews !

i watched, mainly to see Bruce, and he was one bright spot.

I too was trying understand what the sly tribute was.
did they pick names from a hat as to who would be on stage ?

I'd love to know who that The white guy with the funny haircut and the white cut off jean shirt that danced around and sang during the Family Stone medley was also.

Paul did his best to rock, he's 60 somethin years old for cryin' out loud.
why he said he's sing Yesterday with Lincon Park is another great mystery.

I thought Jamie Fox was an actor ?

Jake
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Postby Jake » Thu Feb 09, 2006 12:04 pm

russ wrote:I understand Kelly Clarkson's decision not to thank AI in her speech, but at the same time, I think she should be ashamed of herself.

When you watch it, I think you'll see that this wasn't really a "decision." Her remarks were pretty off the cuff and unfocused, to say the least. She seemed very sincere to me. And she thanked her fans. That's enough. Why should she thank American Idol? They might have introduced her to America but it's not like they did it out of the kindness of their hearts. 19 Group got paid. I enjoy the show, but FUCK them.

Jake
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Postby Jake » Thu Feb 09, 2006 1:44 pm

The Viilage Voice's liveblogging of the Grammys captures my feelings almost exactly. Who is this Tom Breihan and where did he get a hold of my opinions?

10:05: Well, here's Sly Stone, and he's got a hunchback and an enormous blonde mohawk. This is sadder than Axl Rose coming back with a fat neck and dreadlocks.


Oh, and one more thing. Who is that Keith Urban fellow, and how come the estate of Elliott Smith isn't suing him for stealing his look?

Image

russ
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Postby russ » Thu Feb 09, 2006 1:58 pm

Jake wrote:
russ wrote:I understand Kelly Clarkson's decision not to thank AI in her speech, but at the same time, I think she should be ashamed of herself.

When you watch it, I think you'll see that this wasn't really a "decision." Her remarks were pretty off the cuff and unfocused, to say the least. She seemed very sincere to me. And she thanked her fans. That's enough. Why should she thank American Idol? They might have introduced her to America but it's not like they did it out of the kindness of their hearts. 19 Group got paid. I enjoy the show, but FUCK them.


Well, recently she was trying to not even let AI use her songs for contestants to sing, but she caved and relented..maybe she was afraid of bad press....Don't get me wrong, I like Kelly Clarkson and I think she is sincere.... But I think she is trying to distance herself from being the product of a reality show/ singing contest. No matter how famous or how many Grammys she wins, she will always be the AI contest winner and I think that might be a bug up her ass.

Thanking AI has nothing to do with money and 19 Group. Its about being classy, even if it might be uncool to thank a tv show.
Like it or not, AI was the vehicle that spotted her talent in the first place and gave her the opportunity to be where she is today.
If she hadn't gone on AI and won, do you really think she would have gotten the media attention and record deal and become a pop star?
Most likely, not.

I'm just saying I think she is trying to pretend like she's above AI now.

But hey, its just my lil' ol' opinion.


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