The 50 Most Loathsome People In America for 2008

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Mixmaster Shecky
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The 50 Most Loathsome People In America for 2008

Postby Mixmaster Shecky » Mon Jan 12, 2009 10:03 pm

My god, what a beautiful, epic rant.

Here's a few samples:
Image

17. Rod Blagojevich

Charges: Some things are worse than being bald—Blagojevic should have given that senate seat to John Edwards’s barber. A sad truth about Blago is that he’s not really in trouble for corruption, abuse of power or favor-trading, all of which are routines practices in just about every elected official’s office across the nation; he’s in trouble for being so damn rude about it, and for not being smart enough to realize what “appreciation” means to more careful favor-traders.

Exhibit A:
“[O]ur recommendation is fire all those fucking people, get 'em the fuck out of there and get us some editorial support.”

Sentence:
Flesh removed a pound at a time and used as topping on deep dish pizza, which he is force-fed while his wife spews obscenities at him and Eugene Robinson writes scathing editorials about it.

7. Dick Cheney

Charges: Still alive. The amount of medical resources devoted to keeping this black hole of decency operational could have cured cancer by now, but if they had, Cheney would make sure to keep it a secret. Since Watergate, Cheney’s been fighting to rehab Nixon’s image, and he has succeeded in a way, by showing us all just how much worse a presidency can be.

Exhibit A:
“It is easy to take liberty for granted, when you have never had it taken from you.”

Sentence: Eaten alive by baboons.


This list makes me happy.

jaimoe0
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Postby jaimoe0 » Tue Jan 13, 2009 6:57 am

Brilliant.

43. You

Charges: You think it’s your patriotic duty to spend money you don’t have on crap you don’t need. You think Hillary lost because of sexism, when it’s actually because she’s just a bad liar. You think Iraq is better off now than before we invaded, and don’t understand why they’re so ungrateful. You think Tim Russert was a great journalist. You’re hopping mad about an auto industry bailout that cost a squirt of piss compared to a Wall Street heist of galactic dimensions, due to a housing crash you somehow have blamed on minorities. It took you six years to figure out what a tool Bush is, but you think Obama will make it all better. You deem it hunky dory that we conduct national policy debates via 8-second clips from “The View.” You think God zapped humans into existence a few thousand years ago, although your appendix and wisdom teeth disagree. You like watching vicious assholes insult each other on TV. You support gun rights, because firing one gives you a chubby. You cuddle falsehoods and resent enlightenment. You think the fact that 43% of whites could stomach voting for an incredibly charismatic and eloquent light-skinned black guy who was raised by white people means racism is over. You think progressive taxation is socialism. 1 in 100 of you are in jail, and you think it should be more. You are shallow, inconsiderate, afraid, brand-conscious, sedentary, and totally self-obsessed. You are American.

Exhibit A: You’re more upset by Miley Cyrus’s glamour shots than the fact that you are a grown adult who is upset about Miley Cyrus.

Sentence: Invaded and occupied by Canada; all military units busy overseas without enough fuel to get back.


Ouch.

Lep
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view from Europe

Postby Lep » Tue Jan 13, 2009 8:06 am

Seen in an ad for a French travel site. "Boush de là" is a pun on "bouge de là" - or "get out."

<img src="http://cdn.lastminute.com/lmn/webcourier/fr_FR/2002/2009/120109/header_global_1.jpg" border="0" height="135" width="432">
<img src="http://cdn.lastminute.com/lmn/webcourier/fr_FR/2002/2009/120109/header_global_2.jpg" border="0" height="193" width="243">

miss carol
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Postby miss carol » Tue Jan 13, 2009 2:03 pm

Sentence: Invaded and occupied by Canada; all military units busy overseas without enough fuel to get back.


So no sentence at all? All our army is in Afghanistan having its ass handed back to them by the Taliban.

Dreamin
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Postby Dreamin » Tue Jan 13, 2009 2:50 pm

Sentence: Invaded and occupied by Canada; all military units busy overseas without enough fuel to get back.

You say that like it's a bad thing.

Canadian World Domination

Chris G
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Postby Chris G » Wed Jan 14, 2009 10:16 pm

miss carol wrote:
Sentence: Invaded and occupied by Canada; all military units busy overseas without enough fuel to get back.


So no sentence at all? All our army is in Afghanistan having its ass handed back to them by the Taliban.



All 12 of them.


.

Dreamin
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Postby Dreamin » Thu Jan 15, 2009 2:04 pm

A few thousand troops deployed in the most dangerous territory and over 100 dead.

Chris G
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Postby Chris G » Thu Jan 15, 2009 2:21 pm

Dreamin wrote:A few thousand troops deployed in the most dangerous territory and over 100 dead.



I did not mean to make light of Canada's contribution to Afghanistan in anyway, but only to poke fun at the overall size of the Canadian military. This thread discusses Canada invading the US. I'm not taking that personally or seriously, I understand it is a joke. So lighten up.



.

Dreamin
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Postby Dreamin » Thu Jan 15, 2009 8:03 pm

Just sayin'

grounded5am
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Postby grounded5am » Fri Jan 16, 2009 1:06 am

you're always just sayin'. ha ha ha ha!!!!! sorry. it's a bit of a inside joke. your post just reminded me of it.


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