Category Archives: Shorties

Shorties

New York Legalizes Scalping

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Get ready to pay up, New Yorkers. As if the face value on tickets to see The Police wasn’t enough, New York Governor, Elliot Spitzer, has just thrown in the towel on fighting scalpers by dropping all but the most innocuous limits on ticket brokers and how much they can mark up a ticket price.

Before today, New York limited mark-ups to 45% over face value. That limit has been removed, which means scalpers (or “brokers” as they’re known today) can charge whatever you suckers are willing to shill out to see reformed rock and roll has-beens or overpaid and under performing sports teams.

A few of the original limits remain, including the ban on scalpers selling tickets within 1,500 feet of the larger arenas and within 500 feet of smaller venues. Large-volume brokers must also register with the state. Big fucking deal.

Free marketers think this is great, but they also see no problem with gouging during disasters or jacking consumers who are too dumb to buy warrantees that cover what use to be standard product lifespans.

Once again, the customer eats it.

Shorties

April’s Most Popular GLONO Items

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10 (Last month: 10). Emo Game: I’m All Smart Like That – Holding onto tenth place is our 2002 interview with the silly game’s creator.

9 (-). Contest: How Long Will Pete Doherty Be Free? This contest ended over a year ago—which reminds me, I don’t think we ever sent out the prizes to the winner… Contact us!

8 (9). The OC Finale: A Summer Without Summer – Our Season One wrap-up moves up a position.

7 (-). What Became of the Likely Lads? The interest in a Libertines reunion hit an all time high in April with this news.

6 (-). Review: Black Rebel Motorcycle Club – Baby 81 – The highest debut on the chart!

5 (2). GLONO Interview: Larry Crane, Archivist of Elliott Smith’s Estate – Interest in New Moon heats up, but this piece slides three positions.

See the final four after the jump…

Continue reading April’s Most Popular GLONO Items →

Links, Shorties

The Shins vs. Fundamentalist Christians

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We’ve written about Plugged-In before, but it’s been a while. In short, it’s fundie Focus on the Family’s guide to secular pop culture. And it’s frequently hilarious. Their review of Wincing the Night Away by the Shins is a fine example:

Numbness and futility haunt “Australia,” which imagines marriage as a lonely prison. Other songs contain random, disjointed references to sexual intimacy, moral relativism, unhealthy relationships, “pilfered booze” and a dog getting whacked by a locomotive. In general, it seems life is meaningless and beyond our control, giving way to postmodern subjectivity. […]

We’ve reviewed some cryptic discs over the years, but Wincing The Night Away is one of the trippiest. Equally odd is the paradox between the band’s sound and its message. The Shins’ playful, ethereal melodies have a pleasantly experimental, occasionally retro-psychedelic flavor. Yet this act’s enigmatic poetry is full of despair and melancholy. Not worth the effort.

Equally odd is that this is pretty much the same conclusion we came to in the Glorious Noise review of the album…

MP3s: “Phantom Limb” and “Australia” (courtesy of Sub Pop).

Shorties

Question Mark Benefit in Kalamazoo

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? FlyerEverybody who’s within driving distance from Kalamazoo, Michigan, should head out to Kraftbrau Brewery on Saturday night for a fantastic fundraising event for Detroit 60s punk, Question Mark, who lost his home, his dogs, and all of his possessions in a terrible fire in January.

Not feeling particularly charitable? No problem: you are guaranteed to get your money’s worth out of this show. ? & the Mysterians still put on a hell of a show. Doubt it? Come out and see for yourself that there’s more to this band than their classic stomper, “96 Tears.” Seriously, if you’re not impressed, find me and I’ll personally refund your ten bucks.

And as if seeing a legendary garage band (with all the original members!) isn’t enough, GLONO faves the Sinatras are opening up. These guys rarely play out these days, so seize this opportunity!

Details and more info after the jump, or here…

Continue reading Question Mark Benefit in Kalamazoo →

Shorties

Hats Off to Jenny

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When we think of Jenny McCarthy, it isn’t—um, entirely—due to her appearance as Miss October 1993. No, we recall her many turns on various MTV programs, back when MTV actually interrupted its music with shows, like Singled Out. When we think of Jenny McCarthy, presently shilling various books about maternity, occasionally vamping in various forgettable movies (we’d name them, but. . .damn! what was it?), we don’t think of, well, hats.

Evidentially, we are missing something because McCarthy, on May 4, will participate, along with various suites from Chrysler Group, in announcing the grand prize winner of the “Hats Off to the Derby” national hat design contest. The Derby in question, of course, is the Kentucky Derby. To be sure, people are known for wearing hats there. McCarthy is well known for not wearing a whole lot of clothes. But hats?

There is even a more twisted aspect to all of this. According to the news release detailing the award, “The hat had to be inspired by the styling of the all-new 2008 Chrysler Sebring Convertible and utilize a portion of the soft top fabric in the design.” It is ugly enough on the road. But on someone’s mellon?

So let’s get this straight: Playboy, MTV, motherhood, horses, hats, cars, and canvas? This may take celebrity to convoluted places it’s never been.

Shorties

New Beastie Boys Album: The Mix Up

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What’s up with the new Beastie Boys album? The NME claims The Mix Up will “hark to the style of the band’s classic albums Check Your Head and Paul’s Boutique.” Contradicting this, they quote Mike D saying, “We play instruments on the whole album, as opposed to sampling.” Paul’s Boutique, of course, was 100% glorious Dust Brotherly samples. So which is it?

To confuse matters further, Mike D tells the Fr0k that “it’s an instrumental album. There are no vocals, no samples.” How does that hark to the style of Paul’s Boutique at all? The only instrumental on Paul’s is the silly “5-Piece Chicken Dinner,” which was actually just a snippet of “Shuckin’ The Corn” from the Deliverance soundtrack.

My theory: the dope who wrote the NME article has never listened to Paul’s Boutique.

More Mike D quotes and the track list after the jump…

Continue reading New Beastie Boys Album: The Mix Up →

Links, Shorties

Jack White Sells Out of Detroit

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wsj-jack-white.gifCongrats to Jack White for the sale of his house in Detroit. According to the Wall Street Journal, the house sold “for $590,000, well below its initial $930,000 asking price.” It’s a tough market where houses are cheaper than cars!

Other tidbits from the article:

• Mr. White bought the property in 2003 for $524,000, records show.

• The house has been on the market since “last August.”

• Mr. White recorded his hit 2005 album Get Behind Me Satan in the foyer of the 5,800-square-foot home.

• The buyers are a retired couple from Maryland.

• He paid “about $3.1 million” for his “nearly 20,000-square-foot” house in Nashville in December 2005.

Continue reading Jack White Sells Out of Detroit →

Shorties

Remembering Lester Bangs

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His moustache is way cooler than your stupid indie haircut will ever be.Since today is the 25th anniversary of Lester Bangs gobbling enough Darvon to kill a walrus, we thought it would be a good day to remind you why we’re all still talking about him: his rock and roll writing.

Reviving a tradition that we started back in the very early days of Glorious Noise after we got a hold of a collection of old Rolling Stones, here are a bunch of classic record reviews by Lester Bangs from the Stone.

Elsewhere today, Jim DeRogatis, author of the bio Let It Blurt, appreciates the fact that his Bangs’ writing remains inspirational.

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Shorties

Courtney Selling Kurt’s Stuff – ALL OF IT

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As if selling licensing of Kurt’s songs for video game ads or shitty TV shows weren’t enough, Courtney Love now plans to sell off nearly all of his remaining possessions under her control. I guess the massive money dead celebrity auctions is taking in these days is just too much to pass up.

Would selling off all her father’s keepsakes ultimately rob daughter Francis Bean of her birthright? “My daughter doesn’t need to inherit a giant hefty bag full of flannel fucking shirts,” said Love. “A sweater, a guitar and the lyrics to ‘(Smells Like) Teen Spirit’ — that’s what my daughter gets. And the rest of it we’ll just fucking sell.”

And Courtney drops further in the collective eyes of Nirvana fans…

Question of the Day: When Courtney dies, what are the three things you think Bean should hold onto?

MP3s, Shorties

Two Cow Garage Finally Getting Props

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GLONO friends and killer live band Two Cow Garage gets some love from MSNBC. It’s an odd write-up that quotes someone else as saying Two Cow has some similarities to Zeppelin and Quiet Riot (!?!?), a claim singer Micah Schnabel doesn’t deny. When pressed to describe his own impression of Two Cow’s sound, Micah said, “Probably a John-Cougar-Mellencamp-fronting-Nirvana thing. But I don’t know, that may be way off base.” It’s not, actually.

I hear there’s (finally) a No Depression feature on the boys in the works too. It’s about time these guys got some wider exposure. Heaven knows we’ve been tooting their horn for years…

MP3: Two Cow Garage – “Blanket Gray” from III, just released on Shelterhouse. Also, check out album highlight, “Should’ve California.” If you buy the album from their site, the band gets to keep more of the money.

Previously on GLONO: Introducing Glorious Noise Video with Two Cow Garage; Top Shelf 2005; MP3: Two Cow Garage – 135; The Long Way Around: One Badass Year with Two Cow Garage; Second Chances: Two Cow Garage.

Continue reading Two Cow Garage Finally Getting Props →