Tag Archives: Bon Jovi

Rock Hall Nominates Donovan, Diamond

Every year we throw a hissyfit, but there are actually a bunch of cool bands among this year’s list of Rock and Roll Hall of Fame nominees, including first-timers Donovan, Dr. John, Alice Cooper, and Neil Diamond. And Tom Waits! Of course, then there’s Bon Jovi. Who sucked 25 years ago and continues to blow today. I saw them live at Soldier Field this summer (free tickets…with Kid Rock…) and was shocked by just how lame they were. And frankly…how gay Jon Bon Jovi seemed in person. He not only sports Jack Wagner’s haircut from 1984, but the dude was rockin’ the “Frisco Jones” dance moves! That’s not rock and roll. Not even close.

The list of previous nominees: Darlene Love, LL Cool J, Donna Summer, Beastie Boys, J. Geils Band, Tom Waits, Chuck Willis, Chic, and Joe Tex. I can’t imagine Waits getting in, but it’s fun to imagine his acceptance speech.

Update: Billboard was wrong. Tom Waits hadn’t been nominated previously.

Continue reading Rock Hall Nominates Donovan, Diamond

Johnny Loftus on Bon Jovi

Our man Johnny Loftus takes on Bon Jovi for the Village Voice:

When the B to the J hits the Meadowlands, a phalanx of Chrysler Sebrings descend on the stadium like so many VTOL assault ships, disembarking payloads of forty-somethings straight through the crash doors and into a humongous portal to their youth. “Livin’ on a Prayer,” “You Give Love a Bad Name,” even the dunderheaded stomp of the New Jersey single “Bad Medicine”—these songs have entered core playlists and the common language, buttressed by the life experiences of the millions who can still sense the singe of Aqua Net in the acid-washed air.

Classic Loftus.

Bon Jovi: iTunes, Amazon, Insound, wiki

Video of Kurt Cobain in Guitar Hero

In case anyone’s confused about why Dave Grohl, Krist Noveselic, and now reportedly Courtney Love (who approved the deal) would care about the use of Kurt Cobain‘s likeness in Guitar Hero need look no further than this video:

Video: Kurt Cobain in Guitar Hero 5

Love has threatened to sue Activision for allowing Cobain to be used in Guitar Hero 5 to sing songs by other artists, which baffles Guitar Hero CEO Dan Rosensweig who told the NME that Cobain’s estate (controlled by Courtney Love) was fully aware of the terms of the contract to license Cobain’s likeness and that she “cashed the check.”

Continue reading Video of Kurt Cobain in Guitar Hero

Bon Jovi Fails to Sell Out

No, not that kind of selling out.

Looks like the Jovi was the first band at the new 4,000-capacity Hard Rock “Joint” in Las Vegas to not sell the place out.

While many thought last night’s session of classic rock revival would be an easy draw, the increasingly cash-conscious public didn’t truly bite.

And the show wasn’t cheap: Tickets ranged in price from $191 to $746, before taxes and fees.

When Bon Jovi played the MGM Grand last April, ticket prices ranged from $68.25 to $210. […]The Hard Rock’s vice president of entertainment, Paul Davis, previously said the resort is “doing everything (it) can” to keep ticket prices low.

So…$191 to $746, before taxes and fees, is keeping ticket prices low? Wow.

Via @Lefsetz.

Bon Jovi's Pre-Concert Prayer Circle

McSweeney’s Dan Kennedy wonders What They’re Saying in Bon Jovi‘s Preconcert Prayer Circle:

Again, I know the stuff’s really hitting the fan down here and you’re probably getting slammed with more prayers than ever, but for the next 75 nights we’ve got shows and I’m asking you to put tuning in to our preshow prayer circle at the top of your list. That’s why we’re doubling up our power and signal by being in a circle like this and by holding hands to basically make one giant person beaming one huge consolidated prayer up to you—we’ll do what we have to do to get heard and to cut through the clutter of individual prayers.

Classic.

Some Final Words on Super Bowl XXXVII

Celine Dion, “God Bless America” – The woman has an extremely large, extremely froggy voice, a husband whose first job was as a deckhand on Sir Walter Raleigh’s frigate, a promotional contract with Daimler-Chrysler, and an irritating French-Canadian accent. While all of these things bother me, it’s the last two that REALLY cream my brie. I mean, did the CFL get Mariah Carey to sing “Oh, Canada” at the Gray Cup? And as Chrysler bought ad time during the Super Bowl, was there some back-end hanky panky going on to install the company’s newest spokeswoman onstage? (This paragraph is funnier when read while impersonating Dion’s stupid, pinchy-mouthed accent.)

Dixie Chicks, “The National Anthem” – These girls can sing. Natalie Maines has a distinctive voice, one which immediately stands out while your car radio scans for music. As she harmonized with her bandmates, their collective voices and the inventive arrangement made for one of the more interesting performances of the anthem in recent memory. Or at least it was better than that kid on the “American Idol” premiere.

Continue reading Some Final Words on Super Bowl XXXVII

NEVER SAY GOODBYE

New Jersey rockers/fossils Bon Jovi have announced plans for a summer tour in support of their newest album, Crush (Island). Don’t doubt it: their jaunt across America will be a success. After 35 weeks on the Billboard Hot 200, Crush is holding at 70, and its second single “Thank You for Loving Me” is storming the charts.

The question is, who let these guys back in?

Didn’t we bury them in the early 90s, after sagging album sales proved that “Bad Medicine” was not, in fact, what we needed? Did we not accept a newly shorn Jon Bon Jovi as an actor simply because it was a lesser evil than his band? Richie Sambora? Isn’t he dead? How have these lousy longhairs clawed their way back into the public consciousness? It’s like throwing a party, and noticing about halfway through the night that the guys you tried so hard to avoid inviting have come over anyway, and are standing by your keg drinking.

I laughed out loud when I first heard the band’s rockin’ lead-off single, the imaginatively titled “It’s My Life.” From Bon Jovi’s braying vocal to the muddled, Hysteria-esque production, it was the 80s, remixed. The obligatory synth-drum track in the background was an obvious (and cheap) attempt at updating a tired idea. In my head, the boys rocked along with a mullet-headed DJ, spinning the wheels of steel in Z.Cavariccis and a Hyper-Color t-shirt.

Inexplicably, “It’s My Life” was a hit.

Who was buying this? I asked around. No one I knew was happy to hear of Bon Jovi’s return. And yet, the re-emergence continued. Appearances on VH-1. Concert specials. All of this exposure was only serving to illustrate that the members of Bon Jovi who aren’t named Bon Jovi or Sambora would easily be confused with those employees of Aerosmith not named Tyler or Perry. The rub: aging white men in leather vests and bad weaves. Amazingly, Crush peaked at #9 on the Billboard charts.

Taken at face value, Slippery When Wet is a great album. You drum on your steering wheel when K-Billy FM plays “Livin’ On A Prayer” as part of its Big Hair Weekend. “Never Say Goodbye” brings you back to that night at the union hall, when there was no use talkin’ ’cause there was nothin’ to say. But check it: I’ve listened to Crush. It’s terrible. Danger Kitty performing “Love Rocket” at a bris is better than this shit. Every rock cliché, every sappy lyrical couplet (“It’s my life/it’s now or never/I ain’t gonna live forever”)—it’s all here.

If Bon Jovi needed a quick payday, why didn’t they just release a Christmastime greatest-hits box and get it over with? That would’ve been better than Crush, a collection of weak rockers and sleep-inducing ballads that somehow manages to sound amateurish and sad all at once. You know that feeling of pity you get watching some middle-aged fat guys rock out the songs of their youth at a summer street festival? It’s my sincere hope that it’s this notion of pity that accounts for Bon Jovi’s resurgence. You don’t really want to watch those fat guys, sweating as they roll though an out of key take on “Livin’ After Midnight.” But you order another beer, because like a car accident, there’s a perverse pleasure in watching the carnage unfold.

JTL