Tag Archives: Celine Dion

Phish &: Aces Full of Kings

Phish isn’t exactly a sizzling topic on GloNo. I just ran a search and discovered that there are 20 pieces that mention the band, and in some instances a mention is pretty much just that. And while I am indifferent to the band and, overall, its genre, it probably deserves a bit more mention.

(After all, Thin Lizzy has 10 mentions, and while I know that Phish still exists—with essentially two member changes, addition of keyboardist Page McConnell in 1985 and the departure of guitarist Jeff Holdsworth in 1986—despite plenty of time searching (including on what claims to be “The Official Thin Lizzy” website, which has on offer a live album that is the band “at the absolute height of their powers”—recorded in 1977), I can’t figure out whether Thin Lizzy exists in any form, and even when it did, members changed as frequently as Cher did dresses on “The Sonny and Cher Show,” which also appeared in 1977.)

A couple years ago, when John Hodgman was still answering the questions in The New York Times “The Ethicist” column, he was presented with:

My fiancé, Steve, wants me to go to a Phish show—he has been to more than 60—but every time he turns on Phish, it puts me to sleep. I don’t want to pay for an expensive nap. Please order that he stops asking me to go to his hippie festivals.

To which “Judge” Hodgman replied, in part: “before you get married, you should know the law: in heterosexual marriages, every wife owes her husband one Phish show.”

It is not later revealed whether Rachel and Steve were wed or if she became well rested during a lengthy performance.

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Some Final Words on Super Bowl XXXVII

Celine Dion, “God Bless America” – The woman has an extremely large, extremely froggy voice, a husband whose first job was as a deckhand on Sir Walter Raleigh’s frigate, a promotional contract with Daimler-Chrysler, and an irritating French-Canadian accent. While all of these things bother me, it’s the last two that REALLY cream my brie. I mean, did the CFL get Mariah Carey to sing “Oh, Canada” at the Gray Cup? And as Chrysler bought ad time during the Super Bowl, was there some back-end hanky panky going on to install the company’s newest spokeswoman onstage? (This paragraph is funnier when read while impersonating Dion’s stupid, pinchy-mouthed accent.)

Dixie Chicks, “The National Anthem” – These girls can sing. Natalie Maines has a distinctive voice, one which immediately stands out while your car radio scans for music. As she harmonized with her bandmates, their collective voices and the inventive arrangement made for one of the more interesting performances of the anthem in recent memory. Or at least it was better than that kid on the “American Idol” premiere.

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