There’s been a lot of hot air being blown around over this tabloid article from the UK’s Daily Mirror: Morrissey and Johnny Marr heal rift raising hopes of a Smiths reunion. But come on. Look at the content, and you’ll see this is all silly speculation:

Singer Morrissey, 49, and guitarist Johnny Marr, 45, are said to have healed their bitter rift and are now regularly in touch with each other.

One source said yesterday: “The very fact they are talking again is the most hopeful thing in years. The industry has been buoyant with talk of them getting back together.

“A lot of people think of them as the best thing since the Beatles. They’d fill stadiums many times over.”

We’d love to see it. But it’s not going to happen. Johnny Marr just joined the Cribs, for one thing, and they’re going on tour next year. Plus, Morrissey very publicly loathes Smiths drummer Mike Joyce, who sued Morrissey and Marr in 1996 over profits from the Smiths, and was awarded over £1 million in back pay. And without Joyce and bassist Andy Rourke, it’s not the Smiths. It would be cool to see Morrissey and Marr together, but it wouldn’t be the Smiths.

Not to mention the fact that Morrissey has said, “I would rather eat my own testicles than reform The Smiths, and that’s saying something for a vegetarian.”

Ever notice how these kinds of headline-grabbing rumors start up every time somebody’s got a new album to promote?

MP3: The Smiths – “Rusholme Ruffians” (courtesy of Rhino, but not included on The Sound of the Smiths: review.)