In our on-going efforts to track the nexus between Big Business and Bigger Business, we’ve discovered still another development. As you may recall, Jaguar had been using rock superslug Sting to promote its cars, demonstrating how the Jag can lull Sting to sweet dreams of rainforests or more song-writing gigs for cartoon movies.
But now we’ve learned that Jag is sponsoring Janet Jackson’s “All For You World Tour 2001.” Well, that may not be exactly right: there is a “partnership,” such that those considering the tour will see Jag in the tour title, advertising, promotion, publicity, and even the ducats. Undoubtedly looking something like a NASCAR race with a single sponsor, there will be X-Type display logos all around the venues.
Says Michelle Cervantez, vp of Marketing for Jaguar North America: “Jaguar’s relationship with Janet Jackson is a powerful statement of our intentions to become more accessible to a new generation of Jaguar owners.” Yep. All those people who buy tour T-shirts are undoubtedly going to make their way to dealers, post-haste.
In addition to all of the aforementioned signage and even a car at the venues, concert goers will be subjected to a “video” featuring Janet and a black X-Type. (I am not making this up.) Presumably said video is more commonly known as a “commercial.”
But this isn’t just any run-of-the-mill spot. It was produced by Spike Lee’s 40 Acres and a Mule Filmworks. According to renown Knicks fan Mr. Lee, “Our partnership has assisted Jaguar in communicating to a more diverse audience. This project is a direct result of that strengthening relationship.” The “relationship” he is referring to is a “marketing partnership” between Jaguar North America and 40 Acres and a Mule Filmworks, which was established in April. Which presumably means that since Nike spots aren’t what they once were, Lee will be creating ads for Jag. (Ah, what about, oh, making movies?)
So let’s review. Sting. Everclear. Aerosmith. Janet. I’m throwing my vote in for GloNo partnering with some automaker. Any suggestions, Sab?
I say we team up with Yugo. Let’s bring the littel fuckers back. We sponsor a GLONO smash-’em-up derby of Yugos every year. Hell, every month, they only cost $10, don’t they?
This brings up a topic I was discussing just this afternoon. Isn’t it funny how my beloved Who’s song “Bargain” is now associated with an SUV? The swong is about the willingness to give it all up to reach the spiritual enlightnement of Pete’s guru Mehar Baba. Give it all up except, of course, your $30,000 SUV. Marketing is a weird world.
Soon all products will be inter-related, and you won’t buy individual cars, cd’s, soft drinks, cell phones, etc. You’ll buy a ‘lifestyle package’ that features all co-branded marketing partnerships. One package will feature Ford, Pepsi, Crest, Levi Strauss, A&M Records, Microsoft, Verizon, and so on. Everything will be kind of like ‘Dawn Of The Dead’, but with less zombies and more Backstreet Boys.
Of course, we’ll need pirates and renegades out there subverting the whole process. Start now and monkey-wrench the thing before it gets started! I personally see an unholy alliance with GLONO, the Church Of Satan, and Briggs & Stratton-make it an annual ‘Dark Lord’ road rally with Lawnboys!
How about GloNo and Panoz? We stand for the same things, right? Do-it-yourself, high performance, fuck corporate America, etc. Besides, I’d rather roll in an Esperante than a damn Yugo.
“Everything will be kind of like ‘Dawn Of The Dead’, but with less zombies and more Backstreet Boys.”
OMG, Shecky – I swear I almost had a pizza ‘noser’ – that might just be the funniest (and most abhorrently vivid) thing I’ve ever read.
Oh – and I think you guys would do well with some Pabst branding or something. Fuck cars – cars are nothing but trouble.