I recently had the, um, opportunity to spend some time at a roller rink. One of my single-digit-aged nieces had a birthday party at one, and so there I was on a Saturday morning, listening to loud Top 40 hits and skater-invigorating favorites like the Village People’s “YMCA.” (No, I did not participate, fearing for life and limb.) As it was before noon on the day after Friday night, the people there were undoubtedly not wholly characteristic of the crowd that I’m sure zooms around under the mirror ball after dark, but there were certain clues—from the pack of smokes rolled up in a T-shirt sleeve to the skin-tight off-brand jeans on too-young mothers—that hinted at what I’m sure is a vital subculture, but not one that is normally associated with things like the covers of fashion magazines and celebrity fêtes.

Which brings me to what is described as “the artist’s signature roller skate line from SKECHERS.” There are words in that quote that aren’t usually found together, primarily “artist” and “roller skate.” The artist in question is none other than Britney Spears, who will be appearing in ads, provocatively posed—on eight wheels. The president of SKECHERS USA, Michael Greenberg, stated, “We believe that she has the charisma, popularity and global appeal to place Britney 4 Wheelers at the forefront of consumers’ minds—and on their feet.”

Maybe this really is a clever maneuver by Spears. Let’s face it: There is no better place for her talents, music and charms than at the rinks, all other celebrity pretences notwithstanding.

Next up: Dinner theater.

4 thoughts on “Rollin’”

  1. I just knew that after that Moby article and that Alanus thing, that you guys would bring up Britney.Thank god you’ve got Nathan Walker, or all would surely be lost.

  2. Britney’s Skechers sponsorship seems smart to me… what music could be a better fit for roller skating? Or bowling, for that matter? When “Crazy” came out, I brought my then-girlfriend to the glow bowl lanes in downtown Lansing and we heard “Crazy” twice in the same night. at deafening volumes. glow in the dark bowling balls- roller skate pom poms- Britney Spears. Totally logical to me.

  3. Best roller rink song of all time : Billy Squier’s “Everybody Wants You.”Accept no substitutes.Ah, wasted adolescent evenings in Northeast Ohio…

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