While there is what seems to be an excess of attention to the feats of Alicia Keys and U2 vis-à-vis the upcoming Grammy Awards®, what is perhaps of more interest is that there are other performers who have been nominated for various awards who have gotten little if any run, probably because many people are completely unaware that these performers are doing anything nowadays.

For example:

*Best Male Pop Vocal Performance. “Don’t Let Me Be Lonely Tonight.” James Taylor. Think about that for a minute. I mean, didn’t he do that song about 20 years ago?

*Best Dance Recording. “Angel.” Lionel Richie. Well, he did sing once about dancin’ on the ceiling.

*Best Pop Instrumental Album. “Voice.” Neal Schon. No, Steve Perry doesn’t seem to be nominated for anything. But don’t stop believin’.

*Best Metal Performance. “The Wizard.” Black Sabbath. Ozzy must be Iron Man. You’d think he’d have succumbed to rabies or something by now.

*Best Rock Instrumental Performance. “High Falls.” The Allman Brothers Band. Consider this: back when the band was popular (post-Duane), Gregg was going out with Cher.

There are a few other curiosities, as well. Take the category “Best Traditional Pop Vocal Album.” Who do you think would be in that category? I’m guessing that you didn’t think Rosemary Clooney, who is up for “Sentimental Journey—The Girl Singer and Her New Big Band.” Anything but the girl.

While I am not familiar with the work of Brave Combo, I suspect that they might be a good group, judging by the name of the album that’s up for the best album in its category: “Kick-Ass Polkas.” I can just picture some of my relatives whooping it up at a VFW hall.

Clearly, the best name of any work that’s up for an award this year comes from one Bill Kirchen, who is in the Best Country Instrumental Performance category: “Poultry in Motion.” There are a lot of groups who try to come up with clever titles. They don’t have a clue.

The most disturbing nominee this year is in the Best Spoken World Album for Children. Let me repeat that: “Children.” The name of the recording in question is “Timeless Tales & Music of Our Time.” Sound innocuous enough, right? Well, then consider the person doing the speaking: Dr. Ruth Westheimer. “Timeless Tales…” hmm, maybe she spins a story about the oldest profession.

4 thoughts on “Statuesque”

  1. Are we in a time warp? Are these artists being nominated for work done in this millineum? Where are Joey Dee and the Starlighters???

  2. I live in Brave Combo’s Hometown, they are big in Japan, and deservedly so (really, it’s not a joke). They are the only pioneers of the polka form that I know of. An insane statment on the face of it, but really, they do it.

Leave a Reply