Why Americans don’t care about the Darkness

Why Americans don’t care about the Darkness: Irony Maidens by Chuck Klosterman, the guy who wrote Fargo Rock City.

56 thoughts on “Why Americans don’t care about the Darkness”

  1. DarknASSSS! Charlie Murphy! I propose a truce. White women! Come over here and have sex with Charlie Murphy! I’m Rick James, bitch!


  2. so, in america it’s wrong to be funny and rock. well then is it wrong to be funny and write about rock? we should all just let go and start to embrace the importance of not being earnest. was david lee roth digging deep into the relevant psyche of the listening public when he sang songs bout fanatic rock stardom (top jimmy), wanting to bang the teacher after school (hot for teacher), the sexually charged image of driving a car (panama), spoofing western crooners (happy trails)or having sex with the ice cream man (ice cream man). not really. so, did this make van halen any less relevant. not at all. would van halen have been better if they would have had a less spastic entertainer as a front man and focused on producing more meaningful, socially relevant music? well, i think we all know how that turned out.

    the darkness has music that fun, filled with big rock hooks, and knows enough of their past to revel in it. i guess i’m one of the few americans that like it for what it is… just good, fun rock.

  3. Turbonegro does everything the Darkness does but only 10 times better. They ROCK and they’re hilarious. It has nothing to do with Americans not taking to this type of humor/irony. They just don’t do it that well.

  4. Anonymous, you’re a bitch. I’m really tired of faceless douche bags bombing comment strings with high horse rhetoric. My vitriol has nothing to do with your ridiculous assertion; if you took your balls out of the sugar cone you store them in for a minute, we could speak intelligently about how Turbonegro is a great band, and the Darkness are a great band, and how each mine similar veins of irony and rocktastic power, but are also quite different from one another. (In their makeup choices, for example.) But Anonymous, because you’re a blank slate of ball-less goo, I blame you. Yes, I blame you specifically for the actions of the world’s basement Internet jockeys. And I can do this, because I work here. Get your hands off of my message board, motherfucker.


  5. fyi..I’m a different anonymous poster.

    Why are people who post anonymously on message boards always treated as “ball-less”? Are we somehow threatening? Not everyone cares to develop some online personality. I rarely post on MBs, but when I do it is anonynously, as I am not concerned with logging in/remembering passwords, etc.

    Not to stir shit up on here, but there seems to be little luv for the anonymous Internet poster.

    Curious to hear your thoughts.

  6. I’m one of the baddest motherfuckers of all time!……….I’m one of the best singing and best looking motherfuckers you’ve ever seen!……Hold my drink bitch!

  7. Woman: Thank you very much sir.

    Lil Jon: WHAT!?

    Woman: Thank you very very much sir.

    Lil Jon: WHAT!?

    Woman: I said, thank you very much.

    Lil Jon: WHAT!?

    Woman: Thank you very very very much.

    Lil Jon: OKAY!

  8. You Stoopid Americans, need your rock n roll spoon fed and wrapped in plastic, think you’ve got a grasp of something, but you dont know shit…Who gives a fuck if some dumb fuck yank doesnt like the Darkness, who gives a shit what you think, your not important, I dont think you realise how much the world laughs at you, The Darkness Rocks, and your dirty stinking country and its fucked up inhabitants should burn in the mess you’ve created…Except Weezer of course

  9. I think it’s true Americans “don’t care” about the Darkness, though not how you intended. I know quite a few people who like them, both musically and as an ironic entity. I know a lot of people who are swearing that they are the greatest thing to happen to music ever. But this audience is attracted to them solely because of their irony, and they’re sarcastic and fickle. These fans were on Jet, and before that Electric Six and so on.

    And these fans don’t CARE about anything more than what’s new. They made the Bloodhound Gang popular. They started like Fountains of Wayne when they ripped off Rick Springfield. In short, they’re not fans of music so much as fans of musical culture. And when the culture moves on, so do their tastes. That’s where the Darkness misses…they don’t appeal to the “real fans” who will follow a band to the center of the earth if asked. And it’s those fans that rock needs — people who will buy the shitty sophomore album and light candles when the bassist goes to the methadone clinic.

    I don’t like the Darkness, because while they represent a refreshing refrain from the melodic mumbling of “numetal,” they’re doing nothing essentially new with their music. I mean, I was riffing on Jack Black doing Dio three years ago and I have MAD respect for showmanship in rock. But that doesn’t mean repeating the past to the point of parody…that’s my problem! Rock’s in constant danger of stagnation and this constant ratcheting backward isn’t helping.

    So I don’t like the Darkness, but not because they suck. I don’t like them for the same reason I don’t like Jet: they are nothing more than the sum of their influences, so what’s there to care about? I already care about Kiss and Dio (shit I bought “Killing the Dragon”). What do I get out of caring about The Darkness?

  10. I lived in England for two years, its a shithole, a dirty shithole, with bad food and bad television. On the bright side, the girls are skanks. That tea and crumpets nerd probably tapes Friends episodes (on Beta) like every other beer guzzling snaggletoothed brit.

    Anyway, That Klosterman article is right on. Hes just saying that kind of dicotomy isn’t really valued here in america. You can’t really “rock” and be funny at the same time, you are really only one or the other. And its true. Its not a bad thing, its just an observation.

    Also, Dave Chappelle does a great Johnny Loftus impression.

  11. You as cold as ice…

    I been kicked outta better homes than this…

    What am I gonna do about my leggggs Eddie Murphy?

  12. i walk in, and i never forget the first thing i’d seen is O. J. Simpson, i remeber thinkin ta myself “Wow, that O. J. Simpson, he got a big fukin’ head man.”

  13. We actually like the Darkness alot in America…some like it as a joke band like Spinal Tap…others see it as Boston, or Sweet all over again. If we didn’t like it…it wouldn’t be all over vh1 & mtv both 20 times a day. They should make more videos soon. As should Turbonegro & Queens of the Stone Age…who you can also take several ways…seriously being only one of which.

    …isn’t it about time someone covered superfreak metal style?You,coldblooded,darkness,evil,black magic,voo-doo,m*ther-f*ckers…you can buy a new couch…they should have never gave you money…what about my legs bitch!

  14. this is a band with a great, great single (“i belive…”), a great video recieving heavy rotation on music channels and radio and great tongue in cheak showmanship.

    sure they are a good live act, but since they’ve reached this plateau of success the only thing

    that’s going to fuel that success

    and establish their legacy is a string of great singles as catchy

    as “i belive…” whose cross over pop appeal will keep people’s eyes and ears on them.

    i personaly dont care for many of the other songs on the album, to me they are tired cock rock…this

    tells me they may have simply stumbled upon a few hot singles and might not be so lucky in the future. time will tell. i certianly hope they come through with a brilliant 2nd lp. turbo negro (rip?) or new bomb turks should tour with them.

  15. Does anyone here have a wav file or any other sound file for Dave’s “I’m Rich Biatch” line? Or any of Dave’s shit for that matter he one funny motherfucker! By the way “I believe in a thing called love”! Biatch!

    Thank you for your help in this matter.

    “Grandma don’t”!!!!

  16. I know I just posted but I really need to get a hold of Rick James, I think he’s having my baby!

    Thanks for all your help,


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