29 Thoughts on the Apparent Sexiness of Britney Spears’ Pregnancy

29 Thoughts on the Apparent Sexiness of Britney Spears’ Pregnancy. By Adam Boyle.

5. Gwen Stefani exhausts me. Eighth graders don’t spend that much time trying to be cool.


9. And I’ve kind of had it with the Britney haters, too. Face it: she’s lasted a lot longer than you ever thought she would. And don’t lie — you know an alarming amount of her music by heart.

10. And why pick on Britney Spears? Pick on someone else. Like Sonic Youth. Oooooooooh — it’s like I desecrated a church, isn’t it? Bag on easy target Britney all you want, but someone says boo about Sonic Youth, well, it’s time to take off the professionally faded Urban Outfitters T-shirt and put up your scrawny dukes, right?

11. I’m just kidding about Sonic Youth anyway. I couldn’t name a single one of their songs. I just know I’m supposed to like them. Like I’m supposed to like paté, and Austin, Texas.


19. What are you thinking for names? I think Elizabeth if it’s a girl, Jimmy Kimmel if it’s a boy. Jimmy Kimmel Federline is just a great, great name. In fact, if you are starting a punk rock band, you can feel free to steal it.

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