The New York Times profiles a new theme park in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, that recently opened.

Hard Rock Park is the brainchild of Jon Binkowski, 49, a veteran theme-park executive, and Steven Goodwin, 40, who developed the Hard Rock Hotel in Orlando, Fla. Neither man is the kind of rock obsessive who trades obscure 45s or reads back issues of Crawdaddy; they seem to appreciate Led Zeppelin for its music just as much for the fact that the band is represented by one lawyer, making for easier negotiations.

Some of the attractions:

• the Shake Rattle ‘n’ Rollercoaster

• a water ride called Slippery When Wet

• a 50-foot-tall model of the Statue of Liberty holding a Zippo lighter in lieu of a torch

• Led Zeppelin the Ride, a 3,738-foot roller coaster with a 120-foot-high loop and top speed of 65 miles an hour, whose hairpin turns are synchronized to Robert Plant‘s wails in “Whole Lotta Love”

• an opening ceremony that featured the song “Come as You Are” by Nirvana

• Life in the Fast Lane, a two-minute (the longest ride in the park), 2,234-foot roller coaster for which the Eagles re-recorded their hit song

• Nights in White Satin the Trip, a 3-D ride based on the Moody Blues tune

• Reggae River Falls, which reinterprets the tough Kingston streets that gave rise to Bob Marley, presenting them as a water-soaked playground

• a nightly fireworks display set to Queen‘s “Bohemian Rhapsody”

• a calliope version of the Arctic Monkeys song “I Bet You Look Good on the Dancefloor”

• a sign outside a Moonbounce attraction called the Punk Pit that warns, “All Punks Must Obey the Following Rules.”

Carrie Brownstein has come up with a few attractions they obviously missed including the “Tongue Twister” wherein “Visitors to the park ride on a giant replica of Gene Simmons‘ tongue. A voice emanating from the tongue keeps bragging about how long it is and how it never gets tired.”

Hard Rock Park: web.