The lengths some bands will go to in order to stand out…ENTER: Attack Attack and their awfully hilarious video for “Stick Stickly.” This is apparently the band’s attempt to carve out a brand new sub-genre for themselves; a little something called “Crabcore.” And I have to give them (or their web savvy fans) props for getting a Wikipedia entry on the subject posted (which is more than our fair GLONO can say).
Video: Attack Attack! – “Stick Stickly”
Check out the Wikipedia entry after the jump, it’s hilarious…
We’ll post the Wikipedia entry on “Crabcore” in its entirety here as I am sure the Wikinazis will delete it soon enough:
Crabcore is a contemporary offshoot from the emocore/screamo sub-genre of hard rock music.
Unlike almost all other genres and sub-genres of music, crabcore is defined not by aural motifs, tones, lyrical content, or specific instrument ensembles; but rather by physical gesticulations and contortions of the arms and legs of individual band members during live performances of their music.
Crabcore moves
Chiefly among the crabcore musician’s repertoire of stylistic gestures is the crabwalk itself, from which the genre’s title is derived. The crabwalk is identified by the player’s extremely low stance, wherein both feet are set apart from one another as far as possible, while still allowing the player to maintain at least a 90 degree bend in his knees. While in the crab stance, the player then purposefully transfers the weight of his upper body between each leg, achieving a swaying motion intended to have a hypnotic effect among audience members.
Other moves available to crabcore players include;
The ‘Richardson Richardson’.
‘Krinking’
The ‘Beaver Bounce’
The ‘Dirty Hamper’
The ‘Pestal Press’
Another, somewhat controversial move has gained a foothold in crabcore circles recently, which sees the player simply standing in one spot and running in place. No one understands this move. No one.
The most instantly recognizable signifier of a band within the crabcore oeuvre is the presence of an Arch Cancerped (literally translated; ‘chief crabwalker’). The Arch Cancerped (or ACP) is an individual member of the band whose duty it is to set the speed, intensity, and depth of the crabwalk in a given piece of music. Much like the conductor of a symphony orchestra. Typically the ACP wears a black t-shirt and has a dyed-black sideways haircut.
Crabcore bands
For the moment, only the band Attack Attack! is currently playing crabcore, and is at its origin.
But, whereas this style of music has just appeared, we are discovering that actually, a lot of famous bands had already used or use some Crabcore moves. The most known must be Metallica, as you can see it in some live representations. See the references for an example of Metallica’s Crabcore. This version of Crabcore is known as “proto-Crabcore”.
So, let’s pit these assholes against perennial favorites, Brokencyde. Who are the bigger douchebags?
What makes you so sure the band or its fans have anything to do with this? The wiki entry reads like an incredibly funny idea someone came up with while making fun of the video.
I’ll have you all know that Stick Stickly was a “host” between Nickelodeon cartoons during a couple of long, hot summers when both of my kids were still kids. I don’t know why I’m sharing this information. I’ll go away now.
sometimes, geezerhood can be a blessing-I can imagine being 17 and actually liking this
i actually thought the screamer was in both groups. it would actually make sense in a weird way that brokencyde was a joke off-shoot of this band. though, since they’re both separate groups in the same genre…. they both are equally bad. though, the question is who are bigger douches? brokencyde wins that hands down.
Hi, I’m gemlas ( the user who made the crabcore article ) and i’m glad that you find the article hilarious ! Even if the most funny parts have been made by other users.
By the way, a guy called ttonyb1 is trying to get the deletion of the article because of the lack of sources etc, so if you have any examples of crabcore ( videos, pictures etc ), please help to improve the article !
The boy had never had italian food before..and was mesmerized by the exotic sounding names of the dishes.
I totally have dibs on the band name The Dirty Hamper.
Crabcore! Rock! Funny as it appears on video, I opened a metal show a few weeks ago for bands that sounded a lot like this….not my cup of tea, but maybe if you’re 17…
WTF?
I don’t know what to be more offended by, the heinous nod to The Ramones in that band’s uniforms or the absolutely unbelievable use of Auto Tune.
I feel sorry for the poor ignorant kids who will undoubtably listen to this crap.
Rock n Roll has never had so many posers as it does today.
Buddyhead goes off on Attack Attack.
Looks like Buddyhead has been reading this site because they’ve none of their own content.