Keith Richards Has Stopped Drinking

Brian Jones amd Keith Richards have a drink in the sun at the Jack Fort Harrison Hotel in Clearwater, Florida

This is bad news. British tabloid The Sun is reporting that Keith Richards has been off booze for four months. Surely, his body will not be able to handle the shock. After stubbornly defying mortality for so many years, we’ll unfortunately now have to place Keith at the top of the 2010 death pool.

“He has always quite enjoyed the fact that he seemed to be able to carry on drinking as much as he liked with no real negative impact on his health. But he has watched Ronnie fall well and truly off the wagon last year and he doesn’t like what he sees. Plus he has started to feel for the first time like it might do him some good to give up the booze for a while.

“There’s no guarantees that he’ll stay off it – but he’s doing really well so far.”

Well, good luck, mate.

Previously: Death of a Junky: The Rolling Stones (2001)

8 thoughts on “Keith Richards Has Stopped Drinking”

  1. I no longer have any fucking respect for his dry arse! Fuck YOU, Keith! You used to rock. Now you’re a god damn square. Now piss off!

  2. According to Wikipedia, Bangs died of an accidental overdose of Darvon and Valium. Jim DeRogatis wrote in his Bangs biography that Uncle Lester was listening to the Human League at the time. Coincidence?

  3. Luis Dias, an influential singer/songwriter/guitarist from the Dominican Republic–a sort of Caribbean hybrid of Bob Dylan and Keith Richards–died this past December after attempting to quit booze cold turkey on his own…hopefully Keef is under some sort of medical supervision, as I’ve been told getting off the booze in this manner is more dangerous than getting off heavy drugs, for some reason.

  4. keef likes to say that he’s tried everything at least once, so why not this? lot’s of people die when they take a serious leap at the wagon after so long. remember keef’s not lot’s of people. there’s only one. my money’s on him as always.

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