So I was waiting for the hostess at a certain Chinese chain restaurant on Wednesday night in Chicago, and when she finally walked up to greet me she looked a little bewildered. As she was seating us, I heard a server whisper something about American Idol, and I looked over in the corner and lo and behold but who did I see? The Velvet Teddy Bear himself!

That’s right! I was in the same room with our second American Idol, Ruben Studdard, the man who beat Clay Aiken!

Of course, I was very excited so I said, “Hey, that’s Ruben Studdard!”

“Is it really?” asked the hostess, unsure of my credibility.

“Yeah, that’s totally him,” I assured her.

“Oh, okay,” she replied. “So that’s why they asked for a secluded table. I was all like, ‘Um…why?'”

No respect! It seems like everybody in the world watches American Idol, and then a couple years later the winner walks into a restuarant to get some lettuce wraps and nobody even knows who he is? I mean, really. The guy won American Idol. It’s not like he was just in the Final 12. He fucking won it. And nobody recognizes him three years later? What’s up with that?

He obviously needs to hire a better publicity team. That, or maybe—just maybe—American Idol isn’t quite the force it’s made out to be… Could that be it? Nah…