If you’re like me, you’ll be surprised by the topic of the new single by Dr. Dre. Just kidding. It’s Mary Jane. Ganja. Weed. Grass. Kush.
It’s the first official single from Dr. Dre’s new album, Detox. They put the video out on Friday, and by Sunday night, it already had almost 1.7 million views. [2,216,859 at time of publication -ed.] Eleven years after his last album, 2001, Dr. Dre is planning to release Detox in February. It’s been a long time coming, and the album has been hinted at for years. It’s finally here!
It’s a pretty cool video, too. Stop motion photography, lots of ladies, cash money, Snoop in braids and Dre looking older and wiser. In a tight fitting leather motorcycle jacket, no less.
The last time Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg appeared in a video together was for 2001‘s “The Next Episode.” See it after the jump. And check out Snoop’s doo!
Everyone has the flu, unless you work at Goldman Sachs, in which case you’re Johnny Amlerica, and your bonus check has too many zeroes. Children with the names of birds choke the sky in experimental flying vehicles, until it turns out they really don’t (Where the Wild Things Weren’t), and all the helicopter pilots west of the Mississippi go back to smoking crumpled cigarettes and grumbling about the clouds in the flight deck coffee. A president wins a Nobel Prize and everyone snickers, a panda conducts home invasions in an attempt to hawk Chinese food, and the world waits for word from the 1990s economy relay tower that it’s transmitting a schematic for how to fix everything. Too bad, because the software required to transmit that information wasn’t invented until 2006, which means it’s game over man, and we’re stuck out here with the hissing wind and a bad case of the Kardashians. There’s no control; we’re just grinding metal. And pop radio is full of mouse-click sleek songs that go nowhere beyond text speak platitudes and the lifted choruses of four-year-old Imogen Heap songs.
And then Britney, a French dude, and motherfucking Akon show up, and suddenly we’re in the pipe five by five. Sic transit gloria mundi.
Aww shit, y’all. The Smoking Gun, has pulled a James Frey on R&B crooner Akon, whose album Konvicted has gone triple-platinum, showing that he’s never been to prison. Akon’s Con Job:
While the performer’s rap sheet does include a half-dozen arrests, Akon has only been convicted of one felony, for gun possession. That 1998 New Jersey case ended with a guilty plea, for which the singer was sentenced to three years probation. Another 1998 bust, this one in suburban Atlanta, has been seized upon by Akon and transformed into the big case that purportedly sent him to prison (thanks to his snitching cohorts) for three fight-filled years. In reality, Akon was arrested for possession of a single stolen BMW and held in the DeKalb County jail for several months before prosecutors dropped all charges against him.
So there was no conviction. There was no prison term between 1999 and 2002. And he was never “facing 75 years,” as the singer claimed in one videotaped interview.
As Alicia Keys knows, it shouldn’t come as a surprise to anybody that “Akon’s invented tales appear to be part of a cynical marketing plan, but one that has met with remarkable success.”
To quote my man Del the Funky Homosapien: “We hate r&b cuz that shit is sorry / That shit’s for saps / Just admit your raps / don’t cut the mustard…”
First Tupac, and now Akon. The Smoking Gun has become a major player in the Hip Hop Truth Patrol.