I missed out on Lizzo’s first wave. I’ll admit it wasn’t until I saw her appearance on that Dave Letterman Netflix show that I realized how great she was. Since then, of course, like any decent human being, I play “Juice” every time more than one person is gathered together and drinks are consumed.
Not sure if “Rumors” rises to that level of impressiveness, but not much does. Cardi is as spicy as ever and once again proves herself impossible to deny.
My favorite bit is where Lizzo says, “This shit from my soul, yeah / Black people made rock and roll, yeah.” Because it’s true. In the video she sings this line next to giant vase featuring a figure that looks like Sister Rosetta Tharpe dressed like a Greek goddess (i.e., toga, no pants).
Of the 29 pre-Elvis songs on my chronological history of rock and roll playlist that I obsessed over for most of this summer, 22 of them are by Black people. Five of those are by Black women. And the seven songs by hillbillies are all influenced by Black people. So claiming that “Black people made rock and roll” is factually accurate and indisputable.
This is another terrible Maroon 5 song distinguished by a couple of halfway-fun verses by Cardi B. But hey, at least it’s not Drake.
I can’t remember exactly why I’ve always hated Maroon 5. I’m guessing it all comes down to Adam Levine seeming like an enormous douche. He looks like an orthopedic surgeon and sounds like a less soulful Jamiroquai.
But “Girls Like You” has been at the top of Billboard’s Hot 100 singles chart for two weeks in a row now with 24,000 downloads sold and 22.9 million U.S. streams in the week ending Sept. 27, and 128 million in radio audience in the week ending Sept. 30. This is Maroon 5’s fourth Hot 100 No. 1.
The video tries to fool us into thinking Cardi could be bothered to be in the same room with this tool, but that’s just special effects. It does appear, however, that they managed to coax a number of other charming women to show up, including Ellen Degeneres and Wonder Woman.
Billboard points out that this “ends the record run of 34 consecutive weeks that rap songs had ruled the Hot 100.” “Girls Like You” may very well be being marketed to the pop genre but it features a (lame) mid-song rap by Levine, and of course the new section by Cardi B. Notice that the song required a remix adding Cardi to achieve hitdom; the original Cardi-less version found on last year’s Red Pill Blues went nowhere.
But who cares about genres? Next phase, new wave, dance craze, anyways it’s still crappy Maroon 5 to me.
They call me Cardi Bardi, banging body
Spicy mami, hot tamale
Hotter than a Somali, fur coat, Ferrari
Hop out the stu’, jump in the coupe
Big Dipper on top of the roof
Plus she samples “I Like It Like That” by Bronx boogaloo pianist Pete Rodriguez, so it’s got that funky 1967 Latin hook. I don’t know anything about Bad Bunny and J Balvin but all my favorite pop hits since we’ve been doing this series have had some Latino flavor, so I welcome and encourage our neighbors to the south to take over our pop charts entirely.
“I Like It” sold 44,000 downloads and had 37.5 million U.S. streams in the week ending June 28, and 80 million in radio audience in the week ending July 1.
Essentially, it’s a David vs. Goliath story where David is an “Instagram celeb turned reality-show luminary turned rapper.” 2017, people. Hell of a time to be alive.
But “Bodak Yellow” is pretty fun. My favorite line is “I just arrove in a Rolls / I just came up in a Wraith.” I like arrove as the past tense of to arrive. Like drove is the past tense of to drive. Makes sense. Sounds good. Add it to the OED.
Billboard‘s Gary Trust points out that Cardi B is the first solo female rapper to top the Billboard Hot 100 chart since Lauryn Hill’s “Doo Wop (That Thing)” in 1998. She’s also “only the fifth female rapper ever to lead the Hot 100 at all.” That seems crazy.
“Bodak” had 46.4 million U.S. streams and 56,000 downloads in the week ending Sept. 21, and it had 62 million all-format audience radio impressions in the week ending Sept. 24.