Remember earlier this year, when Daptone Records was robbed, how they threw out the teaser that the Dap-Kings were scheduled to lay down some music for Rod Stewart? We wondered if this could be a good sign of a return to form that he hadn’t even attempted since…when? 1974? Since he left Mercury Records? Who knows? It’s almost impossible to believe he was ever cool. But he was.

So we were hopeful about a potentially good Rod Stewart soul album. While we have yet to hear a single note, this blurb from Billboard has all but dashed any hope. Just look at the cast of contributors:

“Soulbook,” meanwhile, finds Stewart covering 13 R&B favorites and collaborating with Stevie Wonder (“My Cherie Amour”), Smokey Robinson (“Tracks of My Tears”), Mary J. Blige (the Stylistics’ “You Make Me Feel Brand New”) and Jennifer Hudson (Jerry Butler and Betty Everett’s “Let It Be Me”). […] “Soulbook” was produced by “…Songbook” collaborator Steve Tyrell and Steve Jordan (John Mayer, Keith Richards), who recruited an all-star cast of musicians for the tracks such as Motown veterans Bob Babbitt, George Bohannen and Ray Parker, Jr., Memphis heavyweights Willy Mitchell and Wayne Jackson, Rolling Stones bassist Darryl Jones, Toto’s David Paich and session aces Waddy Wachtel, Leland Sklar, Greg Phillinganes, Tom Scott, Ricky Lawson and others.

Not a Dap-King in site. No Faces either, while we’re griping. Just the tired gimmick of cramming a shitload of duets with one or more representatives of each targeted demographic. So lame. Rod needs to pull his head of Clive Davis‘ ass and realize that his legacy has vanished into the ether of late-night infomercials. He’s become Pat fucking Boone.

Sure, those Songbook travesties have sold like hotcakes to every grandmother in America, but is that really how you want to go out? Is that what it’s all about? You’re a joke, man! You need to call up Ian McLagan and Ronnie Wood before it’s too late and play some rock and fucking roll! Do it! Now. Make it happen.

Rod Stewart: iTunes, Amazon, Insound, wiki