The average new car payment in the U.S. in 2022 was $700 per month, and, according to Experian, the firm that knows more about your credit than you do, the average amount borrowed was $41,665. The average length of a loan was 69.7 months. To put that into context, were you to have taken a loan of that length that you are just paying off, the year you took the loan was the year that “fake news” became a thing (or did it. . . ?) Kelley Blue Book, which tracks such things, reported that in November, the average price of a luxury vehicle was $67,050. To put that into context, the U.S. Census Bureau, which calculates such things, says that the U.S. 2021 median household income (the latest year it has the number for) was $70,784.

Mercedes-Benz, which most certainly makes luxury vehicles, announced last week that it is “joining forces with emerging entertainment brand, SUPERPLASTIC.”

SUPERPLASTIC is described as being “known for its universe of synthetic celebrities brough to life through original content on social media and ‘hyper-limited’ toy and apparel drops,” a company that “collaborates with a wide range of A-list musicians, artists and international brands.” That would include Gorillaz, J Balvin, Steve Aoki and Gucci.

To simplify things, the company has created cartoon characters that are arguably the spawn of Garbage Pail Kids and Bratz and it sells stuff.

For its partnership with Mercedes it created a character named “Superdackel,” described as “the SUPERPLASTIC reinvention and heroic alter ego of a beloved cultural icon, the ‘Wackeldackel’, the classic ‘nodding dog’ ornament that’s graced the hearts and dashboards of generations of drivers around the globe.” Erm, well, at least for those who speak German is the Wackeldackel known as the nodding dog.

The company has made a video including its cartoon characters that has them boosting a car from a New York City Mercedes dealership and bumping along and doing cartoony things to a hip-hop beat. At one point Wackeldackel transforms into his new persona, Superdackel, which includes putting on a necklace that has a massive Mercedes star hood ornament dangling from it, bringing Mike D to mind.

Not only does the whole thing smack of cultural misappropriation, but odds are that few people who are SUPERPLASTIC age-appropriate fans are going to be able to pick up something like a Mercedes-AMG EQS sedan: starting price, $147,500. (Hmm. . .maybe two households could get together and share one. . .but they wouldn’t have anything left over for the electricity needed to charge it.)

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