Tag Archives: R Kelly

R. Kelly Acquitted

Apparently, video evidence of the crime, a weak defense, incredible media scrutiny, and really dopey looking hair braids aren’t enough to convict a guy of buggery in Chicago. Six years after being charged with making and starring in a child porn video, R&B superstar R. Kelly was found not guilty today by a Cook County jury. Both Kelly and the alleged victim denied appearing in the video and neither testified in the case.

It seems the whole defense was built around a mole. No, not a mole like a snitch or the subterranean rodent, but a skin discoloration. Never mind that the prosecution had a witness who testified to being involved in a three-way with Kelly and the victim, and could identify both Kelly and the victim in the video, the blurry tape apparently didn’t have high enough resolution so the guy was sprung.

According to the AP, “the prosecution’s star witness was a woman who said she engaged in three-way sex with Kelly and the alleged victim. Defense attorneys argued the man on the tape didn’t have a large mole on his back; Kelly has such a mole.”

And here’s a bit of GLONO trivia: Jake and I were at the WXRT studio when the Sun-Times’ pop critic Jim DeRogatis received word that Kelly was about to be arrested. Jake was asked to talk to Kot and DeRo on Sound Opinions about our posting of Jack and Meg White‘s marriage license and divorce certificate, and how that blew the lid off their whole brother-sister story. DeRo stumbled in late, arms full of fast food, huffing and puffing about the big story that was about to break the following day. He wouldn’t give any details, but the next day his reporting on the arrest broke and so began this whole mess.

Somewhere, Fatty Arbuckle is spinning in his grave.

[NOTE: This post has been edited for clarity and accuracy–.ed]

R. Kelly Sex Facts

R Kelly mugshot

Former Chicago Reader pop critic Bill Wyman has collected three pages of R. Kelly SexFacts™! on his blog, Hitsville, documenting eleven separate allegations of sex with underage girls.

More R. Kelly SexFacts™!

R. Kelly SexFacts™, Part 3: The Godfather Who Shagged Me!

I’m like, so what? I’m drunk. It’s the freakin’ weekend baby, I’m about to have me some fun.

Via percolator.

[Updated with working links from the Web Archive since hitsville.org has been taken over by what appears to be a content spammer. Also, for what it’s worth, I regret being so flip about these serious allegations. -Jake, 11/21/2014.]