Articles

Elvis and Nixon: Crime Fighters!

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The president and the King

In a truly fascinating online exhibit from the National Archives, the historic (and hilarious) meeting between Elvis and Nixon is documented with some surprising documents.

Here, a Nixon staffer suggests Elvis record a song “Get High on Life” and then recruit some of his rock and roll friends to write a musical of the same name to dissuade kids from dope.

Then, more shocking is the king’s claim that the Beatles were responsible for anti-American sentiment abroad!

How can anyone argue that Elvis was not high as hell when he wrote this?

Amazing…

Articles

t.A.T.u. & 2003: The Year That Junk Broke?

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Nelly’s “Hot In Herre” was the jam in 2002. But where was the payoff? Even with its delightfully crass XXX shout-out, the track ultimately failed: No one actually followed Nelly’s advice and disrobed. 2002 was another year in which the gates of the standards of decency were tested and strained by battering rams like Nelly and his heathens, only to successfully absorb the blows. “NYPD Blue” continued to present their curious, one-buttock form of nudity. MTV’s “Real Word” cast embraced Vegas (and each other) to the fullest, but their cameras still crept coyly away before any money shots could be fired across the network’s starboard bow. Even Playboy Magazine, bastion of the bawdy, grudgingly admitted that gentlemanly taste has moved from the boardroom to the locker room. Hef picked up the towel that Marilyn Monroe dropped in 1953 and threw it into the Lad’s Magazine restroom, where it landed on a mildewy stack of Maxim, FHM, and Stuffs across from the toilet bowl. And on the cover of each rag was Christina Aguilera doing her best PG-13. Because that’s what 2002 really was — PG-13 wrapped up in NC-17’s bedsheets.

Continue reading t.A.T.u. & 2003: The Year That Junk Broke? →

Articles

Spiv – Don’tcha Know

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Spiv - Don'tcha KnowSpiv – Don’tcha Know (Pop Sweatshop)

I know you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover. Or a cd. But after you realize that you’re listening to more bad promo cds than music you actually like, you start to look for ways to weed out the absolute crap. Spiv’s Don’tcha Know boasts what is quite possibly the worst album artwork in the history of recorded music. The picture on the cover sort of looks like Pat La Penna though, so I decided to give it a listen (as opposed to writing a review without actually listening to the record, a trick I learned from Richard Meltzer, and first attempted in my recent Foo Fighters review as somewhat of an homage to Meltzer).

The funny thing is that when I first put on the album, I was shocked that the first song, “Don’tcha Know,” was actually good. It sounds like a mid-seventies Kiss-style rocker. But then each song got less and less good until finally there was some kind of looped sample and “rapping” that was so lame and so bad that I had to rip the cd out of my walkman and hurl it off the El platform like it was a frisbee covered in anthrax.

I held onto the jewel case though because it’s so damn funny.

Articles

Foo Fighters – One by One

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Foo Fighters - One by OneFoo Fighters – One by One

Dave Grohl played kick ass drums in a really great rock and roll band from the 1990s. He used to sort of look like a jocky prep with his ponytail and turtlenecks (see the Unplugged in New York, especially). But boy, could he beat the shit out of those drums. He even recorded a very cool song of his own with that band, a b-side called “Marigold.” Those were the days.

Then he started his own band and made a bunch of funny videos. Man, those guys are funny. They like to dress up in silly costumes. Remember the one that was like the Mentos commercials? Ha ha ha ha ha. That was a good one!

He’s got a new album out now called One by One, and you might have heard the new song on the radio. Sound familiar? Yeah, it pretty much sounds like all the other songs they’ve recorded. But maybe a little slicker. And the rest of the album isn’t any better. Wait for the greatest hits collection, which has got to be right around the corner, doesn’t it?

Here’s a list of the people who think this album is really, really boring: me, Derek Phillips, Johnny Loftus, Richard Daley, Bob Hope, Betty Ford, Scott Adams, Joe Esposito, Shania Twain, Reggie Miller, Sandra Bullock, Hope Sandoval, Tom Daschle, Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva, Bill Frist, J.P. Morgan, Victor Newman, Jack Abbott, Ashley Carlton, Olivia Winters, Michael Baldwin, J.T. Hellstrom, Diego Guittierez, Katherine Chancellor, Brittany Hodges, Diane Jenkins, John Silva, Mackenzie Browning, Larry Warton, Lleyton Hewitt, Alicia Molik, Jiri Novak, Daja Bedanova, Kiefer Sutherland, Anthony Becht, Nile Kinnick, Bill Parcells, Michael Jordan, Mike Dillard, Dale Crover, Bob McFadden, Aaron Burckhard, Chad Channing, Dave Foster, Danny Peters, Krist Novoselic, Pat Smear, and Dave Grohl.

Rock and roll can change your life.